The Work is Never Done (And I Feel Fine)

Work used to stress me out. I couldn’t sleep, as my mind would run wild with potential disaster and lengthy to-do lists. “There’s so much to do. I’ll never get this done,” I’d exclaim over and over inside my gorilla brain.

That has changed over the years, and now I am very chill about work. In fact, this makes it hard for some to work with me, as I don’t seem frenzied or even look excited. I don’t respond to frantic emails.

People often view this as a lack of enthusiasm. Isn’t work supposed to stress you out!?

I adopted a mantra, which gave me inner peace. “The work is never done.”

Yes, there’s a lot of work to do, and I’ll work hard at it.

But finishing work today doesn’t mean there’s no work tomorrow.

Why stress about tomorrow’s work? It’ll be there when I wake up.

(Or, as Dale Carnegie said in his amazing work How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (Amzn), “Your inbox will always be full.”)

Choose a trade or profession where the work builds on the other work.

Sales, medicine, law, engineering, craftsmanship, and trades like plumbing and electricity allow for continued growth in knowledge and skills. What you learn today builds on your mistakes and successes of yesterday, and what you learn tomorrow will build on today’s victories and defeats.

Entrepreneurship is a cliched term, and I hate it and avoid using it. But building a business gives you skills that transfer into other businesses. A launch is a launch is a launch. I could do for a law firm, dental office, personal trainer, real estate agent, or anyone who has an online presence what I’ve done for Danger & Play.

The best lawyers are in their 40s and 50s and you can still be a great lawyer into your 70s. Lawyering is called the practice of law because you have to practice a lot to get really good at it.

The worst profession or job is one you can master quickly. Fast food workers top off at low wages as it doesn’t take long to master the work.

When your job or profession is stressful or frustrating, rejoice. You are learning skills few others have, as most people quit at the first sign of hardship.

If you aren’t stretching yourself, often to the point of being pissed off, then you are going to lose your job as you’re doing something that is too easy.

Avoid overwork, and you won’t know what overwork is until you’ve done it.

I would study in law school until I had headaches. When I’d sleep my dreams felt like a pinball game going on in my head. Maybe it was neurological growth occurring, but there were deep changes occurring in my brain.

I felt those changes and they hurt.

I abused my body, got a bunch of injuries, and felt like shit for a few months. I lost a lot of muscle. Now I’ve gained the muscle back and feel good, but am too fat.

(If you’re going to get fat, do it in style.)

Mediterranean Sea

Your health and fitness is part of the work.

Fat loss is part of the work. No big deal. Cut the k/cals, up the cardio, and go to bed hungry. There’s no magic to fat loss.

Muscle gain is part of the work. A muscular body lives longer, is healthier, and recovers from injury and illness faster. Gaining muscle will always be work, and as you age, maintaining muscle will take as much work as gaining it did. Embrace the work.

Your diet is work. Yes you have to be an adult, eat your vegetables (or juice them), and not eat ice cream every night. (That’s as much for me as you. Odds are my diet over the past few months has been far worse than any of yours!)

Treat your social and family life as the work, because it is.

Your family is part of the work, and the work is never done.

Other people have their own unique needs and interests, and making relationships with friends and family work requires you to get out of your own head.

You must understand and meet the wants and needs of other people.

A good family is the best investment you can make in yourself. Many people neglect their families for professional work, which leaves them feeling empty and regretful inside.

Go play with your kids. The work will be there when you get back to it.

Your play is part of the work.

I don’t travel often, but when I do, I treat it as part of the work.

(Jump in to your work.)

Mike Cernovich Croatia Waterfalls

Even if you’re not rich yet, you can have a lot of fun when you treat your play as part of the work.

Even when I had no money, I treated my play as work. I hit a heavy bag in my garage as some poor kid in Illinois. Jump ropes are free. Hit the park to do some sprints at the track or run up stairs as your local high school.

When you get a little spare change, go treat your travel as part of the work.

In the past 12 months I’ve explored the Mediterranean sea, had home cooked meals deep in the Italian countryside, jumped off cliffs in Croatia with a D&P reader and new friend, watched an Above and Beyond concern on pure MDMA with a close friend, trekked through jungle to explore caves, and now smoke cigars in Saigon with another great friend.

I keep my Instagram less as a way to status signal and more as a way to keep track.

I work so much it’s hard to remember how much work I’ve put in.

The best way to get the work done is to start working.

The biggest reason no one gets work done is because they don’t get started on the work.

“I want to be a writer.” How many words have you written today? I’ll write between 3,000 and 5,000.

“I want to get a better body.” Did you go to the gym today? Forget about the perfect program or best set-rep scheme. Did you show up and move your body for a few minutes?

“I want to date beautiful women.” What did you do the last time a woman stopped you in your tracks?

“I want to make more money.” Did you turn on the television when you got home from work, or did you focus on some income-producing activity?

“I want my children to love me.” Did you put your phone down and give them your undivided attention today?

“I’m afraid to start because I’m afraid to fail.”

Of course you will fail.

That’s part of the work, and the work is never done.

Today’s efforts will look like crap compared to tomorrow’s efforts, which means tomorrow you will be better than you were today.

The work is never done, and that gives me so much inner peace.

I don’t sit around feeling self-loathing or that I’m not doing enough, because of course there’s work to do.

It’s time to get back to work.

(Rome, as they say, wasn’t built in a day.)

Rome Mike Cernovich

Kill Mr. Maybe

They say the most important decision a man makes in his life is when he stares across the aisle and says, “I do.” This is untrue.

The most important commitment a man makes is when he says, “I will.”

Men lack the self-respect and self-belief to make a commitment, the most important commitment a man can make – a commitment to himself.

Go talk to some men. Count how many times you hear this bullshit:

  • “That sounds interesting.”
  • “You never know what happens in life.”
  • “Maybe I’ll give that a shot.”
  • “I should try that.”

 The only commitment the modern man is willing to make is a marriage to Mr. Maybe.

Maybe this, maybe that, maybe I’ll be a contender.

Mr. Maybe is the ultimate seducer. Mr. Maybe whispers honey in your ear.

When you talk to Mr. Maybe, he tells you what your ego wants to hear.

Maybe gives you the illusion that someday, by golly, you’ll live the life you dreamed of. Mr. Maybe tells you, “It will happen. Trust me!”

Committing to Mr. Maybe is easy. It requires no risk, only rationalization.

“I could have been a contender,” you’ll tell yourself later in life when you inevitably realize that the only certainly that follows maybe is regret.

Don’t, “Call me maybe?”

There is no maybe. There is no I might. There is no that sounds interesting.

You are in or you are out.

There only is the daily, hourly, minute-by-minute, unrelenting commitment to personal growth and spiritual development.

Make a commitment to yourself, starting this very moment.

It’s a basic commitment that only requires two words.

I will.

I will treat today like the beginning of a new life.

I will go to the gym.

I will stop getting drunk.

I will turn off the television.

I will stop reading filth, rage, and click-bait websites.

I will fuel my body for optimal performance.

I will make more money than I spent.

I will visualize my perfect day.

I will keep moving, fighting, struggling, and giving the world Hell.

I will fall asleep a better man than I woke up.

Are you willing to kill Mr. Maybe?

You’re either in or you’re out.

What it’s going to be?

A Tale of Two Men

Dave was an all-star football player in high school and voted best-dressed student. He was part of the cool crowd.

That’s because, more than anything, Dave wanted to be cool. His self-image rested entirely on what others thought of him.

He followed all of the latest fashion trends and always had a hefty car payment, as he couldn’t let anyone see him step outside of a Hyundai.

Dave spent hours at the night club meeting girls. Dave lost a weekend day or two of his life on hangovers and drug comedowns.

Dave worked for others, as he had no focus or purpose. His motivation was external. What do others think of me?

Dave never sat down in a room alone, away from all distractions, and asked what it meant to be a man.

He said he’d start his own business or make money online, but a man only has so many hours in the day.

He needed others to provide leadership for him and to feed his ego, which was always starving for approval. He won many awards for high performance. Yet he never felt satisfied or content. He never lived in the moment.

He would meet girls and actually had pretty good game. But because he lacked a sense of self, his women cheated on him.

Dave had a mid-life crisis and contemplated suicide.

Diligent Dan was a nobody. In some ways, he was the lowest of the losers.

Diligent Dan didn’t start off with much. He had average genetics and wasn’t voted most likely to succeed in high school.

He was the invisible man.

He followed the rules, went to college, and actually found a job after graduation.

Years later, he had trouble sleeping. Something inside him made him restless at night.

One day Dan was working his 9-5 when he spilled Starbucks coffee on his khakis. He jumped up instinctually when he caught a glimpse of his reflection on his monitor’s screen.

“Is this all there is,” he wondered. He felt pent-up rage escaping from his pores.

The other cube rats looked at Dan with blank eyes. He felt like screaming, “Can’t you see that we are all just human cattle?!”

His co-workers went back to work, their fingers moving up and down the keyboards like chickens pecking kernels of corn out of turds on the farmhouse floor.

Dan had been a brainwashed consumer and couldn’t afford to quit his job, but he knew it was time to make a change.

Dan didn’t know where to start, but he knew he had to make a move.

His daily routine changed. He would surf the web on the clock and type in “men’s self improvement.”

He read success stories and his anger focused into something productive. Intensity. “What another man has done, I can do, too.”

Dan embraced the suck.

He learned how to endure pain. He questioned his life purpose. As his whole view of the world was proven to be a lie, he was overcome with anxiety and felt a pit in his stomach.

But he drove on.

Dan developed a dominant mindset.

He viewed his mind as a high performance sports car that would tolerate only the cleanest fuel. He turned off the television and meditated.

Dan learned what it meant to be treated with respect, as people understood that they would only enjoy Dan’s company if they rose to his standards.

When people – even family and close friends – said negative things, he would get up, turn his back, and leave the room.

Dan no longer had the time to deal with whiners and complainers. He would help those who asked and lived by a new motto: “I don’t have time for the slow or the weak.”

Dan read that a man must have a strong body and a strong mind. He hit the weight room.

He didn’t follow a specific program at first. He just went into the gym consistently and hit it hard.

Slowly Dan’s body transformed. His shirts fit a little bit tighter around his arms and shoulders and his pants were looser at the waist.

He had to buy new clothes after ripping his jeans out, as he couldn’t find pants with a small waist and large quads.

He understood that his physical transformation was a metaphor for his entire life.

Dan was now a misfit of sorts, as he had overcome society’s definition of manhood.

He felt pride in being a man, as he was always working towards his vision. He knew where he wanted to be. All of his existential angst dissipated.

He slept like a rock at night. He was exited to wake up in the morning and knew he needed a full night’s sleep.

His confidence grew each day.

Occasionally Dan was mistaken for a celebrity. “I’ve seen you before,” people would insist. Dan would shrug his shoulders.

Women were showing up. Dan viewed women as a fun accessory to life, but always kept them at arm’s length.

When women would try controlling him, he would let them know that they were and always would be second to his life purpose.

This made women love Dan even more.

Like a good little boy with a college degree, Dan was a filthy, godless atheist.

He questioned whether this world contained more than he could consciously perceive. People became attracted to him, as if a magnetic field or beam of light left his body. He became a sun that lit a dark world.

There were too many “coincidences.” Dan would “coincidentally” run into people at the perfect time. It was as if his thoughts manifested themselves into the real world.

Randomly a higher class of men found Dan and Dan found them. He didn’t understand what was going on.

Dan would have an idea in his head of how much money he wanted to earn, and like magic the money would roll in.

Five years after that breakdown in his office, Dan had more money, more friends, and more women than he had time for.

He answered to no one and finally understood what it meant to be a free man.

There’s a fork in the road, a choice to take.

Which man will you be?

How to Survive Hell

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

It’s a sunburn that won’t heal. Your skin feels like it’s on fire. Your whole body itches. It hurts to move.

Red Skin Syndrome body flare

You wake up. You can’t get out of bed.

Your eye lids are swollen. You have to pry them open with your fingers as some sort of ooze that has glued them shut.

Red Skin Syndrome eyes

Keep moving.

You take six steps towards your front door before leaning against the couch, out of breath.

“I’ll just walk down the stairs and take the elevator up,” you say.

Keep moving.

It’s been another 18 hour of day of clawing at your skin while your bones ache and your hair falls out.

Red Skin Syndrome chest

You can’t sleep. It’s cold outside. Get out of bed.

Keep moving.

You look like a leper. You can’t go out into public looking like this.

Red Skin Syndrome Face

You don’t care. Let them judge. It’s not about them.

Keep moving.

Your hands are split open. Making a fist slices small cuts into you hand like an X-Acto knife.

Red Skin Syndrome Hands

Doesn’t matter. Wrap those bitches up. Let them bleed into the gauze. Off to the gym.

Red Skin Syndrome wrapped hands

Keep moving.

Self doubt sets in. You tell yourself you’re weak. Why bother going to the gym.

It doesn’t matter if you’re moving big weights. You’re here, where you belong.

Keep moving.

You get out of your car. Lifting your chin up causes the skin around your neck neck to split open.

Red Skin Syndrome Neck

You feel sweat sting every inch of your body.

We don’t have time to care about that.

Keep moving.

People ask how your skin is doing. You tell them that your skin is the least interesting topic to talk about.

They are curious and insist. You give a look. You don’t have time to dwell on that.

You’re too busy moving.

Keep moving


You’re going to be in a private Hell.

If you can’t walk, you crawl. If you can’t crawl, you squirm. If you can’t move, you blink. If you can’t blink, you think.

There is only one way to survive Hell.

Keep moving.

The Hard Hitter’s Club

Six months have passed since Victor issued the call, “Let’s Kick Some Butt in 2014.” Have you been smashing your goals like a savage hell bent on the destruction of his previous limitations? Or have you been following the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Losers?

hard hitters

I set some goals for Danger & Play at the beginning of the year.

Unlike the dorks and do-nothings, I don’t tell you what I’m “going” to do. I do it and then tell you how I did it.

I wanted to hit 10,000 page views a day without compromising my message.

The bar was set too low. I did it months ago. We are breaking records every month.

Screen Shot 2014-05-31 at 10.59.23 PM

Is my message any different? Hell no. I’ve grown even more extreme.

I ban more people from commenting than most people have on their sites.  Earl and those other losers you see commenting other sites? Banned.

I won’t sell my soul for 30 pieces of silver like some filthy Judas.

D&P is still for the elite who live life without apology or regret. Losers, whiners, cry babies, and complainers aren’t welcome.

 

I wanted to build a community of like-minded men who talked to one another.

Look at the comments section. Men are talking to one another and helping each other out.

I had two meet-ups on the East Coast. Everyone left with a connection and potential lifetime friend.

Bigger ideas are in the works.

I wanted to increase reader engagement.

Readers have submitted incredible entries.

Reader success stories will become a regular feature.

I have an article in the pipeline: “How I used NLP to Overcome a Paralyzing Stuttering Problem.”

I’m working on a podcast with another reader who will tell you how he went from average to alpha.

That’s only the beginning.

I wanted Facebook to stop lying about Danger & Play.

You can now share links on Facebook as Facebook does not claim it’s an “unsafe” site. (Too dangerous for Facebook does have a nice ring to it, though!)

I wanted to average one podcast a week.

I’m at 27 podcasts for the year.  Danger & Play is the fastest growing men’s interest podcast in the world, with 48 ratings and 33 reviews on iTunes – more than James Altucher.

how to do a podcast

I wanted to be on iTunes.

Boom. See above.

I wanted to start a YouTube Channel.

It sucks, but guess what, I don’t start things unless I finish them.

I wanted a faster site.

I moved to a new server and am on a CDN. My hosting bill sucks, but that’s the price of excellence.

I wanted to build a mailing list.

It’s been growing every day.

I don’t WANT. I WILL.

I am a technotard who did not know how to do ANY of that crap.

I didn’t even have Google Analytics installed until two months ago. I had no idea what “SEO” is.

Now I’m doing A/B testing and laughing at people who talk to me about “brand awareness” or other soft marketing nonsense. I have data to support everything I do.

I did not know how to do a podcast. I did not know how to use Garage Band. I did not even know how to use a microphone.

I did not know web design. I did not know how to get on iTunes or how to take videos and upload them to YouTube.

I will it into being. Three words separate me from the losers.

Three words will always separate the winners from the losers.

I’m willing to do whatever it takes to succeed.

Long hours, tedious editing, sleepless nights learning new skills, thinking like no one else thinks, I don’t care.

I will do whatever it takes to bring my vision into reality.

Are you a hard hitter?

Don’t give me any bullshit about what you’re “going” to do?

What have you done today to smash things?

If it’s nothing, then go smash that little “X” in the corner.

The Danger & Play Army is growing and we don’t have time for the slow or the weak.