“Work hard, play hard” is what the uncreative and boring say. For most “playing hard” means mindless distraction. But when you go as hard as we do, you need time away. Work hard and recover hard.
I am massively productive due to spending hours of time alone each day. During this time my brain synthesizes and crystallizes data obtained throughout the day. My force of will grows stronger as introspective and solitude get the fire inside you burning.
If you’re connecting, you’re not reflecting.
Email, TV, kids, wives, mistresses, bosses, bills, governments, smart phones, Facebook friends, real life friends….We are connected 24/7. While connection to your businesses and family is necessary, every moment you are connecting is one where you are not reflecting.
Every basic bitch in the world goes on for the need for “me time,” and they are right. Yet 99% of that “me time” involves gossiping with friends and posting to social media. “Me time” for a man means watching sports.
How can you have “me time” unless you’re completely alone with your thoughts? Do you know who that me is, or do you find yourself passively floating from one transient experience to another?
Leadership requires solitude, and you are a leader of yourself and your friends, family and businesses.
Solitude is the very essence of leadership. The position of the leader is ultimately an intensely solitary, even intensely lonely one. However many people you may consult, you are the one who has to make the hard decisions. And at such moments, all you really have is yourself.
When is the last time you completely unplugged to ask who you are and to refine your own life vision.
Are you afraid of being alone?
Solitude requires courage, as there’s no one telling you if what you’re doing is right or wrong. We’ve been conditioned to base our lives around the approval of others. How many Instagram hearts or Facebook likes or Twitter retweets did you get?
While gathering data is necessary for an online marketer, why do you care if your “personal” Facebook has high engagement? What black hole do you have inside that you’re seeking to fill? Will more likes change your life, and if so, how?
How to get used to being alone.
If you’re extraverted, narcissistic, or addicted to attention (and if you’re an American you’re one of those), start off slowly. You’re not going to stop texting while driving overnight, and a few hours away from your precious smart phone (aka a pacifier) will seem like agony. You’ll get over it.
Eliminate your illusion of self-importance.
You think answering emails and texts right away makes you important. Does it?
Ask yourself this: Does Warren Buffett look down at his phone constantly to ensure he gets back to people right away and is super responsive? When Steve Jobs was alive, did he have to respond to email and Facebook statuses and messages?
When you are truly important, you can respond to people if and when you feel like it.
Being on-call 24/7 makes you feel important. That’s an illusion. Being connected non-stop is slavery.
Go without answering texts and emails for a day. People will get angry at you. How dare they? What mindset motivates people to believe they must have their emails answered on their terms?
Exactly. Entitlement. People believe they own you.
Set yourself free.
Go watch a sunset.
A setting sun a metaphor for life. Another day has ended. Tomorrow is a new day.
When watching a sunset my mantra is, “One day you’ll see your last sunset. But not today.”
Put your phone on airplane mode in the gym.
I used to check emails and social media in between sets. How dopey. I should have been focused on my physical fitness and breathing. Now I use my smart phone to listen to music, and my music is available while my phone is in airplane mode.
Never use wifi when flying.
Sit back, turn on some binaural beats, and reflect on your life.
Or write. Think. Sketch out your life vision.
I do my best writing online. 50% of Gorilla Mindset was written on airplanes.
Take a cold shower/bath.
That may seem like an odd suggestion. Think about it.
You can’t bring your smart phone into a shower.
And in a cold shower you’ll discover within 3 seconds…It’s only you and the cold.
Learn how to breath.
(“Breathe man, it’s free.” – Wim Hof.)
Breathing is an autonomic process. You needn’t think about breathing to breath. Your central nervous system does it automatically.
As with a cold shower, when you focus on you’re breathing there is only you and your breath.
Deep breathing is an intimate experience – perhaps more intimate than sex.
Stop expecting people to answer your emails and texts.
No one has to respond to your demands unless you are paying them.
One way to become better at living for yourself is to stop expecting others to live for you.
Free yourself from ego, expectations, entitlement.
Go hard and go home.
(How I structure my day.)
Although it may seem as if my activities are dispersed, there’s complete focus when performing a task. Do not multi-task. Task-switch.
Writing and raising hell online is my profession. It is how I earn my living. When online I raise hell. I don’t talk to other people. I don’t even hear what’s going on in the outside world. Shauna has to scream to get my attention as my focus is devoted to my mission. There are set hours when I am off limits.
When I’m not online, my phone is on airplane mode.
After going hard, I pause for a few minutes to perform the mindfulness techniques covered in Gorilla Mindset. Since my day is spent staring computer screen close to my eyes, I began to “check in” my expanding my field of vision as far away as possible. Using self-talk, “I say, you are looking at a sign. The sign say….”
Listen to binaural beats. Binaural beats are effective because the music gives you something to direct your attention to.
Perform the Gorilla Mindset breathing techniques.
It’s you and your breath. As Wim Hof says, “Breathe man, it’s free!”
P.S. I began taking Wim Hof’s at-home breathing course.
I believe it and have noticed results. I’ve signed up as an affiliate.
If you want to buy his course, you may purchase it here.
If you have you own site, you can join the affiliate plan yourself here.