How can a man become more interesting? How can a man communicate that he is interesting? In the latest Danger & Play Podcast I talk about everything from street fights, Kurt Vonnegut, NLP, and the metaphorical structure of language. (Some explicit language is contained in this podcast).
For a future podcast I was thinking maybe you can touch on things that make men interesting. Like what things does Mike at D&P do that make him interesting and what are some things men can do to become more interesting.
There are two parts to that question.
1. How can you become more interesting.
2. How can you communicate that you are interesting.
Part 1 is tautological. Do more interesting things. That begs the question, I suppose.
What is interesting? The dictionary defines interesting as, “arousing curiosity or interest; holding or catching the attention.”
To be interesting, know your audience.
Avoid nerd shit. In researching this podcast, I Googled “interesting facts.”
“It can take a photon 40,000 years to travel from the core of the sun to the surface, but only 8 minutes to travel the rest of the way to earth.”
That blew me mind and kind of messed me up. I tried to conceptualize that. So the radius of the sun is greater than the distance between the earth to the sun.
I’m trying to imagine how much volume the sun has relative to the distance between the sun and the earth. I can’t even wrap my head around it.
I probably shouldn’t have even said that, as now a lot of you are distracted.
Have you I told you about the time I spent a night in jail with a 400 pound pedophile?
In NLP, that’s called a pattern interrupt.
You were thinking about the sun and now your pattern of thought is interrupted.
So this is some interactive, meta stuff. I am telling stories while telling you about how to tell stories.
Anyhow, I was arrested and put into a jail cell with a 400 pound pedophile. I was on the top bunk and kept hoping he wouldn’t talk to me. I wasn’t afraid of being raped or anything.
I tried sleeping when I could hear him say, “I really fucked up this time. Man, I really fucked up this time.”
I didn’t want to talk to him. Jailhouse confessions are the #1 cause of false convictions. I didn’t want this pedophile trying to say I confessed to him so that he can cut a deal. I remained silent.
But I kept thinking…He had that deep need to confess that Dostoevsky talked about in Crime and Punishment (Amazon).
Or as in the Edgar Allan Poe’s the Telltale Heart. There’s some human need to confess.
See how I am talking about sharing a jail cell with a pedophile, but relating it to literature. Isn’t that interesting?
People go to priests and confess. We say they have to get that off their chests.
What does it mean to get something off of your chest? Something is weighing on your heart.
See the metaphor? Feel the metaphor? If something is *on* your chest, it is weight. You feel it.
Your heart is the center of emotion. You feel that weight on your chest.
Now we are talking metaphors. Metaphors We Live By (Amazon).
Being interesting to men and women is different.
Women, especially ones you meet at the bar, want to listen to that.
With women, be primal.
I was in jail.
Long story. [Stare off. Now you’re mysterious.]
No, really, why?
I don’t want to tell you. It will just make me look scary. [Maybe she holds her arms a bit closer in an unconscious way, but she is aroused. Now she’s hooked. Oh shit. What’s going to happen next? Who is this dangerous man?]
Then you start telling your story. She’s hooked. She’s not on her iPhone.
“I was at a bar when this guy came in. I could tell he had a bad attitude, but I ignored him. I don’t like drama, you know?”
Now she’s nodding. Of course. She might even say, “I hate drama!”
But she wants you to continue.
Anyhow, I knew this guy was a problem, so I kept my eyes on him. [You’re showing you’re protective. You’re not a beta provider. You are an alpha protector. Like a pit bull who stands watch.]
He came over to the table where we were all standing and just nudged his way in. The table went silent. Everyone sort of looked down and didn’t know what to do.
She wants to know…What happens next?
I was polite at first. “Hey, man, we’re sitting here.”
He said, You got a fucking problem.
So I punched him. [That’s the pattern interrupt. She didn’t see that coming.]
It’s instinct. I could tell he was going to start drama, so I hit him first.
I have some photos of me with a black eye. If it comes up, I show the pics.
Then I tell the story. That story I just told, that was fiction. You can steal it. Girls wear make-up. Men tell fish stories. it’s all in the game.
Women like a little violence. They don’t like blind rage.
That’s how you become more interesting. That is how you show you are more interesting.
You don’t have to get in street fights, but you need to make whatever you do be more primal.
Kurt Vonnegut on Story Arcs: