The older men stepped up in ways I never could have imagined.
I received several dozen emails and submissions that were blog posts in themselves.
It has taken me days to sort through and organize all of the emails I’ve received.
I am going to run some of their advice as “guest blogs.”
Danger & Play has grown into something bigger than myself.
While I may not agree with everything the readers suggest, I am running submissions in their entirety.
I am not a guru. If something you read resonates with you, listen to that feeling – even if the advice might be “wrong” in my view.
An Afghanistan Vet and Airborne Infantry Soldier’s Advice to Men in Their 20s
1. Avoid putting yourself in a position of need, especially from someone else.
2. Negotiate from a position of power. Want whatever “it” is less than the other person.
3. Don’t be in a rush to fuck a lot. Be in a rush to become the kind of guy that CAN fuck a lot.
4. College is mainly horseshit. Half of the “hard science” degrees are useless. Go for fun, or go with a job in mind. If employers aren’t already banging down your door to ask when you graduate, don’t do it.
6. Don’t plan on having a stable career, anyway. One trick ponies are extremely vulnerable.
7. Interning (giving away your time for free) is for spoiled rich white women.
8. Never pay your own money or a loved one’s money for a college degree. Go to welding school or HVAC school instead. If you must pay, use subsidized federal loans and pell grants.
9. Learn a trade, or two. Earn money and live off of that trade.
10. Work with groups of men, whenever possible.
12. Work as a waiter or a bartender in a highbrow restaurant or a happening bar for at least a year.
13. Don’t take no for an answer. Use verbal honey or a verbal backhand to get what you want. Honey usually works, backhands need to carry the very real threat of violence, or they are worse than useless. Businesses bend for fear of you trashing their reputation or you removing your money, men mostly bend for fear of shame, or financial and physical harm.
14. Don’t bluff. Don’t lie. Infer threats sparingly, and only when you are completely ready to carry them out at the drop of a hat.
15. Speak louder, and speak less.
16. Look people in the eyes, always. Soften this with a smile, when necessary.
17. Understatement is better than braggadocio.
18. Spend money on learning skills instead of buying things.
19. Working abroad is better than traveling abroad. Volunteering does not count. Vacationing is bullshit.
20. There is no shame at living at home. The money you save could let you pay off your parent’s mortgage for them, or buy yourself your own house somewhere else, or allow you to retire for a few years in your early thirties.
21. Enjoy your time with the ones you love.
23. Life is short, and nothing is guaranteed.
24. Women are, simply put, either incapable, untrustworthy, or both. They can earn a place of high respect, but never your trust. Such is the nature of woman. Never put yourself in a position to need them.
25. Try to live somewhere for free.
27. General long-term value to a man (in America): Skills>Relationships>Experiences>Time/Money>Stuff>Women
28. Use condoms.
29. Never trust that a girl is on the pill, or that the pill will work.
30. Avoid a relationship unless it truly suits you.
31. Don’t count on it suiting you for more than few years. You will undoubtedly be a different person in a decade.
32. Learn to have fun, and not care about chasing women. Like magic, you’ll have plenty of them running around.
33. Spend less money on stupid shit. Before whipping out the credit card, ask yourself “will this make me a better person? Will this still be with me in a year? Does this add serious value to my life?” if the answer is no, don’t buy it.
34. Make a budget, and stick to it. Or just have discipline, and don’t buy stupid shit.
35. Quality is better than quantity, up to the point of diminishing returns. The only big-ticket items that are worth spending heavy money on are skills, and durable or semi-durable tools: a MacBook, a rudimentary armament, camping equipment, a good looking suit, and a reliable used car.
36. Nothing worth having comes easy. Hit the gym like a fucking madman, but that said…
37. Listen to your body when it tells you that something is wrong. Avoid unnecessary healthcare costs. Don’t cripple yourself in the prime of your life. Learn the difference between pain and injury, and err on the side of caution.
38. Don’t be fat, ever. It is both mentally and physically repulsive.
39. Be the guy that brings a group up, and belong to groups that bring you up.
40. Your children> good family and good friends> other’s children> good women > strangers >bad friends, co workers, bad family>broken women
41. Avoid drugs and those who do them like the plague. Marijuana is just a waste of time and potential. The others are fun, but they will probably hurt you, and you will probably hurt those who you love if you do them. If that trade off is worth it to you, you need to improve your life, stat.
42. Alcohol is best in moderation. Excess consumption is unhealthy, expensive, dishonorable, and invites ruin into your life.
43. It doesn’t matter how much fun they are, motorcycles will eventually kill or maim their riders- whether they ride safely or not. Other drivers don’t care, and physics always wins. There are cheaper, more useful, and even more fun ways to risk killing yourself.
44. Have at least 6 months of typical living expenses in the bank. A year is preferable, but get to 6 months, first.
45. Use credit cards, and pay them off every month. Never pay a dime in interest, and get paid to build your credit.
46. If it can be avoided, never pay for a girl’s anything. This rule gets slightly relaxed in other cultures, or when traveling abroad.
47. Advice for those considering joining the military: The military is a shell of it’s former self. Every single branch and leaf of our nation’s martial structure is decaying, despite the best efforts of some of our best people. Stripped of honor and purpose, it increasingly resembles a jobs program. It is an increasingly feminized and somewhat dangerous EO environment for a young man.
That was simply phenomenal.
By the way, my friend Peter complied the advice into an helpful list for you to study regularly. You may download the list by clicking here.