How to Keep Your New Years Resolutions By Using Your Reptilian Brain

“How do I keep my New Years Resolutions,” you are probably wondering. If I said it’s not your fault that you can’t keep your News Years Resolutions, would you think I was going soft? “Of course it’s your fault if you fail,” you might exclaim. “People who can’t keep their New Years Resolutions are weak. They don’t have any will power!” Maybe so, maybe not.

What if you’ve been setting the wrong goals?

Can you make room for the possibility that you have been setting the wrong goals? Can you imagine that you’ve been brainwashed into believing you want something that you don’t actually want? Maybe you set goals about the “right things” rather than the things you actually want.

We all know, for example, to set goals about money. We all want more money! We do! We know this because everyone wants more money.

Is that really true for you? (If it is, that’s cool. No one at D&P is judging you.) It’s not particularly true for me.

An AmWay rep comes up to you. He pulls out a matchbox car – a Ferrari. “Don’t you want this,” he asks.


I don’t actually. Material possessions don’t motivate me. Although I need to earn  a certain amount of money, if you handed me a check for one million dollars there is nothing I’d go out and buy.

I  personally am motivated by time freedom. When a friend called me on Wednesday and said he got a free hotel in the Virgin Islands, I booked a Friday flight. On Saturday I was in the Caribbean.

Being able to leave whenever I feel like is what motivates me. Not having to check in with a  boss is what motivates me.

Enough about me. What motivates you?

“How do you know you want what you want?”

The human brain, depending on which theory you ascribe to or what neuroscientist you talk to, is roughly developed into two functions – the lower functions and higher functions. You have a conscious and an unconscious mind.

reptillian brain

The “lower functions” are handled by the reptilian (or lizard) brain. The higher functions like self-control are handled by your neocortex. If you’re some snooty academic or beta male, you focus on the neocortex. If you’re like me, you look at the lizard brain:

“The reptilian complex was responsible for species-typical instinctual behaviors involved in aggression, dominance, territoriality, and ritual displays.”

That lizard brain is what makes you respond to fear with aggression and what makes you jealous. It’s what makes you horny. The lizard brain is what makes you want to commit the seven deadly sins –  wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony.  The neocortex is what helps you resist the temptations.

Free from my slave masters like teachers, doctors, priests, and politicians, I embrace my lizard brain. I listen to it. I talk back to it.

If you talk to your lizard brain long enough, the lizard brain will talk back.

How can we put that lizard brain to use?

Most of your goals are based on what society wants for you. You want to get a college degree because mommy and daddy told you that was the right thing. You want to stop sinning because a priest told you you’d go to hell.

In other words, you don’t want what you think you want.

the abyss talks back

Your lizard brain tells you what you actually want.

“We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don’t you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don’t your eyes seek out the things you want?” – Dr. Hannibal Lecter

When I used to be a wage slave and the Boss Man walked in, do you know what I coveted? It wasn’t his trophy wife, car, house, or well put together kids. It wasn’t his membership in the Kiwanis Club. It wasn’t his friendship with local politicians.

I wanted his freedom.

The Boss Man could come and go as he pleased. He didn’t need to ask permission to take time off. He wasn’t accountable to people the way we stooges and underlings were.

My lizard brain was speaking to me, if only I would listen to it. It was telling me to feel the sin of jealously. It told me, you are jealous of him. Listen to me. You want what he wants.

I thus structured my life around time freedom. This means giving up money, as time freedom and a Ferrari are often mutually inconsistent.

When I watched Cinemax After Dark as a teen and saw a hot girl riding a man, I thought, “That’s what I want.” I wanted to look up and see a hot girl riding me.

what do you really want

When I grew up, I stopped judging myself. “Why do you want to have sex with beautiful women? Why not settle for a nice girl?” I listened to the lizard.

What is your lizard brain telling you?

When you see a muscular man, do you think, “What a douche bag. Women don’t even like men who are too big.” That is your lizard brain telling you that you are jealous. It is telling you that you want to be muscular.

Instead of judging your lizard brain and denying it, start paying attention to the “base” voices in your head.

Then you will know what you really want.

Once you find out what you really want, you can set New Years Resolutions that you are actually motivated to keep.

Post a Comment Telling Me What You Really Want.

Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t lie to me.

Danger & Play is a community of men who are tired of being lied to.

Tell us what you really want. Post a comment and let’s find a way to make it happen.

  • Sploosh

    I want to be free by 2015. No boss. No time card. True Freedom.

  • LiveWithFire

    Started training in muay thai. In two years I want to walk into a club, knowing I could fuck up 90% of men. Realistic? Time will tell

  • Badger

    Outstanding post.

    “The Boss Man could come and go as he pleased. He didn’t need to ask permission to take time off. He wasn’t accountable to people the way we stooges and underlings were.”

    That’s definitely a sign of a fucked-up organization. In a real functional and sustainable hierarchy the managers and employees have checks and balances so that bosses aren’t just giving orders, passing blame up the chain and lying to their own bosses about what’s going on in their units.

    If Boss Men are in a position of more freedom and less accountability than the frontline workers, without any kind of measurement for the production or growth of their employees, the employees will soon realize they are chumps and try to get themselves promoted by whatever means necessary.

    Sadly, the Fucked Up Organization is the default position for American companies. Once a corporate entity gets over a certain size it seems to become a slave to subconscious institutional imperatives that wind up making life for the actual worker as hellish as possible. It doesn’t help that managers lose touch with the worker’s day to day life and think more in terms of how to make things easier for other manager types.

    It takes a lot of conscious effort and humility by a management team to create a culture that avoids this.

  • OD

    I am in the process of swallowing the red pill. I want to consume and digest it but now I realize that my neocortex is clinging to the mainstream b.s. of what a man should be like. This changes now.

  • Andrew

    Great post. Spot on.

  • Mike

    Money is good… health/body is good…

    love/sex life is terrible..I get nothing. I rarely meet new or attractive girls. Online dating is a complete joke.

    I want to be pursued by hot girls. I want them to be texting me, to be trying to get with me, to want me.

    I want to know that sex is only a text or a phone call away. I want girls to fawn over me when they see me. I want to be desired. I want to be attractive without any effort. I want girls to come up to me at the bar (like they do in movies).

    I want to be in the 5% of men who are getting 90% of the action.

  • earl

    “I wanted his freedom.”

    You won’t find it giving into sins. Sins lead to enslavement.

  • Asf

    I want:

    1) to look like I work out
    2) to hit on any girl that makes my blood boil

  • Jay

    Never saw the need to post on your blog. Been reading it for the past year or two now. Love your philosophy on Alpha personality traits, masculinity, and what it means/takes to live a healthy and fit lifestyle.

    Freedom motivates me. Financial independence motivates me. Can always earn money back, can’t earn time back. Theres no such thing as an Amway rep. I know, because I’m the same industry. Amway’s just our distributing company we’re contracted with. Theres an enormous training system behind it thats the real engine for personal growth and self development. The ‘Amway rep’ (likely a new business owner still learning the tricks of the trade, from what you briefly described) that approached you prob thought approaching you with a materialistic opener would entice you. Then again, ‘Amway reps’ down in the States build their business vastly different from us here up North.

    I’m motivated by freedom. Building my Amway business to a certain level where its sufficient for me to live the lifestyle I want: fuck off to a Latin American country for 3-6 months enroll in Spanish language school. Fuck off to Brazil and immerse myself there for 3-6 months to learn Portuguese. China for Mandarin. Russia for Russian. Financialy independence, but most importantly TIME freedom, to enroll in full time BJJ, film school. Freedom to read great books. Freedom to chase tail.

    The ‘Amway rep’ and the entire industry is entirely blue pill. They passionately believe in being financially independent (millions of dollars in the bank) and being full time parents raising solid kids in our North American society of eroding morality. To each their own. Most people in the business want to pay cash for a mansion, Ferrari, boat, etc. And they do.

    I’m just like you. Red Pill beliefs using a Blue Pill industry/system to achieve my financial/TIME independence. Travel the world. Pursue an international player lifestyle. Live in foreign cities. Understand other cultures. Learn languages. Self improve. Hell no would I want to be tied down with a wife and kids at this stage of my life. Though the industry (its philosophy and system) tries to pull me towards a blue pill financially independent lifestyle. Fuck no.

    I don’t need a million dollars though in the industry, if you like serving/helping people, you get deep fulfillment/internal satisfaction from helping people and get financially rewarded for it. Some do it through blogs, which I deeply appreciate, others do it through other industries. This industry is the only one that I know to give me control of TIME and MONEY to pursue a Red Pill lifestyle.

  • _whistler

    Epic post. I know exactly what I want.

    Keep training to fight. Get jacked, build physical power. Throw my words into the masses. Fuck shit up at every opportunity.

    Thanks for adding fuel to my fire with this article.

  • PM

    So basically you do the contrary of what the lizard tells you? Like when you see a sports car you cant afford and every time you tell yourself in your head ”well material objects aren’t important, thats just a car, you dont need a car that expensive, etc etc” that means you want one?

  • BodiPUA

    Hi there DaP,
    Nick (Krauser) put me onto your website and I’m enjoying it. I was really suprised to see this article as this is something rarely discussed but fundamental to managing your own mind. Sorry to blog-whore in my first ever comment here but I wrote about the same concept but in a very different way a while ago on my old blog. You may be interested to read it, although bear in mind this written a long time ago:

    The book I reference is excellent as well..


    • Danger & Play

      Relevant links to your own blogs are welcome. Nice piece.

  • Zero

    I want to get laid once a week.

    I want to make $4000 a month after taxes.

    I want to be fit enough to run four miles and strong enough to lift my body weight.

  • Fortis

    I want my own place, hot women at my beck and call and 3,000 a month without a boss. I hate having to turn tail and make my days conform to someone else’s schedule.

  • anon1

    excellent early year post which i missed on my first run through.

    right now all i want is to is go live in thailand for a month. i want to train a bit of BJJ and boxing and get some aggression out on the mat.

    i want to have enough cash flow coming in that it covers about 2.5 times my expenses, [plus kickback some cash to the folks], and i want it to keep coming day or night no matter what i’m doing

    obviously i want a feminine shy hot girl in my bed most nights, but more than that i want to be the sort of guy that can get shit done and lead. people, customers, girls, everybody.

    i want to be a man of options.

    and i never want to bite my lip, hold my words, or kowtow to anybody every again.