Going from Fit to Big

My body has undergone some interesting changes over the past few years. I’ve gone from fat to fit and then from fit to big(ish). I’m currently on the question to get an elite physique, which will take me another 2-3 years or so. While going from fit to big, I’ve noticed quite a few interesting things.

(The difference  20 pounds of muscle makes.)

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What do I mean by “fit” v. “big”? When you’re fit, you get these awesome gym pumps and look amazing – for about 60 minutes. Then you’re muscles sort of deflate. You look also fluctuates greatly depending upon whether you’ve had enough carbs, whether you are hydrated, etc.

Once you pass a certain threshold, you always look like you have size. Here’s a pic of me just standing around doing nothing. I hadn’t been to the gym all day. The shirt isn’t tight fabric. It’s just 100% cotton that hangs however. You can tell that I train even when fully clothed, where as a fit person needs to take some clothes off before people can tell you spend a lot of time in the gym.

(The difference between being fit and being big is that you don’t need to take your clothes off or wear tank tops for people to know you train.)

 

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Now although I’m big(ish), my body isn’t where it needs to be. I need to put on another 10-20 pounds of muscle before I’ll be happy with it.

Yes, women find you more attractive. Let’s just get this out of the way. I don’t care about that “scientific study” that allegedly shows that the ideal physique that women more desire is Brad Pitt’s from Fight Club. In the real world, I go by what women do and not how they answer survey questions.

I’ve been fit and big. I know what women find attractive. I know how to read what the nerds call indicators of interest.

You simply get more IOIs from women. That’s just the way it is. If you disagree with me and have never been on both sides of the fence, then you don’t have the right to an opinion. In short, I don’t want to hear any garbage from Internet nerds about what women want.

No, it’s not about confidence. Some will say, “It’s not that your’e bigger that draws more attention. It’s that being big makes you more confident, and this in turn translates to more attraction from women.”

No.  I am a confident mofo and have always been confident. When you have the experience I have with women along with the ability to know you can beat up most guys, you have a certain swag.

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I don’t really understand a lot of you guys. You read all of these books on evolutionary psychology like Sperm Wars and quote them like Gospel. Well, what is so hard to understand about this?

We are apes. In the jungle, size is king. Women like big men. That’s just evolution.

In the wild, everyone wants to be around the biggest ape and the biggest lion. In the human world, women want to be around the biggest men. It’s primal, it’s hard-wired, and it’s reality.

angry gorilla

Women will outright grab you. At my birthday party, a girl came up from behind, grabbed me and said, “I know you! We met earlier today!” McQueen was there and witnessed it, so this is not Internet b.s. I had to shake her off as she wouldn’t let go.

There is no doubt that I could have taken her to my car within 5 minutes of meeting her. It wasn’t because of my “game.” It was raw animal sexuality.

And it’s not like that was the first time a girl has sexually assaulted me. Girls regularly grab my bicep and often they push their boobs up against my back even when there is ample room to pass by without touching me.

Men want to talk to you more. If I’m just sitting around minding my own business, a guy will come up and make conversation with me. They don’t even always bring up training. They just want to be around bigger guys. I know know why. It’s just something primal in us.

Men also assume that if you’re big it’s because you have your act together. I just met a VP from a Big Bank the other day. He just came to shoot the shit. He was a really cool guy and we might end up partying together in Cabo this Spring.

If I had been a skinny guy, he never would have noticed me.

You get more attention from the Bad Ass Bitches. What is the difference between hot and Bad Ass Bitch? I can’t say, but we all know them when we see them. There is a certain look to them that differs from girls who are merely hot or highly attractive.

People touch you more. Now I’ve been around long enough to know when a girl is grabbing me in a a sexual way and when she’s just curious. I also lived in San Francisco’s SOMA district (second gayest neighborhood other than Castro) and know when a gay man is making the moves on me.

My dermatologist is a 75 year old man without a gay bone in his body. When I was standing up at the counter to pay, he walked by me and sort of “jocked” me in a non-gay way. When girls you know hug you, they will physically squeeze you. Again, this is non sexual.

You get better customer service. “The squeaky wheel gets the grease,” and by virtue of being big people think you are angry and mean. I just got a free cup of hand-crafted coffee for, in the words of the hipster barista, “waiting in line quietly and patiently.”

I could talk about stereotyping and note that I am cultured, have travelled all over the world, and am widely read. But if people want to give me free stuff because they expect me to smash things, who cares?

You look more regal. If you were putting up some statues in your front office, you wouldn’t put gazelles or giraffes up there. You’d put something big and bad ass – lions, apes, wolves, etc.

As human beings, we’re attracted to large physical bodies.

Being bigger is better in every conceivable way. There is likely a point where you’re “too big.” I am bigger than 90% of men and yet I am not even close to being “too big.”

I have several friends who are bigger than I am and they haven’t reached that point. Keep striving to get bigger and you will be handsomely rewarded with more attention from women, better customer service, more money, and more friends.

Read next: Body of a Spartan Book Review.

UPDATE: “Do you even train legs, bro?”

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  • Trzer

    Been stuck at 170lbs for the past 2 months eating 4000kcals. Your post motivated me to buy a mass gainer and try to push past the plateau, thanks.

    Could we maybe get your stats (heigth/weight)?

  • mohamed

    Awesome post man, i like the fact that you’re not into nerdy things like “woman go for the confidence” or “if you want women you have to be funny and entertaining”.

    It really motivates to keep pushing in the gym.

    • Danger & Play

      It’s easy to spout cliches than spend time working on one’s self. Hence why cliches predominate.

  • http://mrveins.com Aaron

    Appearances are everything. How do people not understand that?

    I like when men are like, “Oh I’m a shy man. I need help to break out of my little shell. Let me read a book on…” FUCK THAT. If you are the strongest motherfucker in the place, you won’t have a shy bone in your body. Like you said, this is a jungle baby. The baddest call the shots.

    As soon as I put on some size, girls started staring at me from everywhere. At a crowded supermarket, it’s almost like everywhere I turn, there is a girl looking at me. Even with my girlfriend by my side. They can’t help themselves. I’m not even that big. Just clearly and visibly muscular. Girls are nicer. They touch their hair and act shy when I talk to them. You should see the ugly ones. Man, they are funny to watch. They lose their mind. Again, I am not huge or even very great looking. I am just visibly muscular.

    I had to let this out.

    I got a lot of training advice from Body Of A Spartan. It is a great manual. Check out the review.

    Good shit D&P.

    • Danger & Play

      Yeah, I bought the book on my own, didn’t ask to do an affiliate agreement or anything. I “endorsed” it because it’s good – especially for guys who are just getting into the gym and need something practical and workable.

    • AKA

      How big is “I’m not really that huge”? What do you weigh now and what did you weigh before?

      • http://mrveins.com Aaron

        Don’t worry about it. Just hit the weights hard and keep your nutrition on point, and you will get a lot of attention from women and men.

  • http://unluckydevil.com Matt

    Looking beastly dude! Excellent work. I’d kind of given up on size lately and have been shooting for the Brad Pitt fight club physique. It’s been working pretty well, but now I’m thinking of revisiting the size idea.

    My only problem is when I get bigger, I get quite a bit chubbier and as I get older the bulk/cut cycle get a lot more difficult. Are you running into that issue too? Do the benefits of extra muscle outweigh the negatives of extra abdominal fat?

    • Danger & Play

      My bodyfat is under control. We both have fat boy genetics.

      So this means two things:
      1. Get more calories from fats like coconut oil and MCT oil.
      2. Limit your carb intake to around the time you’re at the gym.

      Nearly every meal should be low carb. Take in your carbs before training and after. Then cut the valve off to the carbs.

  • Mina

    Show us your legs.

    More than 1/2 of your body’s muscles are below your waist.

    • Danger & Play

      For a low monthly rate, I will send you exclusive pics.

      • sway

        Shit-test level: handled.

        • Danger & Play

          He sounded so angry, didn’t he?

          (I actually had a leg pic and it got cut off as I was posting from my mobile.)

          • Mina

            I have been powerlifting and bodybuilding for about 35 years and usually when guys post photos of themselves and don’t show their legs it means they aren’t working them as hard as everything else.

            It’s a little known fact that squatting and deadlifting will not only grow your legs dramatically but improve your strength a huge amount plus they both (to varying degrees) work your upper body, too (think core strength, grip strength, lower back, etc.)

            You don’t have to believe me – have you read any of Rippetoe’s stuff? He is considered the Godfather of strength training: http://startingstrength.com/

            What he would tell you is that no program will give you the strength and therefore make you grow as much as a strength program that includes squats and deadlifts (the kings among the power lifts.)

            If you want to really grow and really get big and be strong to boot you need to work your legs.

          • Danger & Play

            You want a cock shot, too?

  • Jeff

    Totally valid points. Unless people are walking around shirtless (rare except potentially at a pool party), no woman is going to notice/give a shit if you are thin but toned. Even if you do, if someone has the same aesthetics but is 15% bigger, he will get noticed before you.

    Do you have experience using peptides to add mass? If so, what would you recommend?

    • Danger & Play

      Ipamorelin is the best. GHRP6 is good for guys who have trouble working up an appetite.

  • http://www.manexmachina.com Black Knight

    Excellent post. The part that really resonated with me was this: “A fit person needs to take some clothes off before people can tell you spend a lot of time in the gym.” — This is exactly the point that I’m at. The most common comment from girls when I take my shirt off is, “Wow, I didn’t realize you had muscles.”

    I’ve been trying to get stronger and recomp while staying at the same weight for martial arts competitions, but I may have to give that some more thought after this post.

    Also, LOL at the “show us your legs” comment. Haters are going to hate no matter what, I guess.

    • Danger & Play

      The “game” to run when you’re at the phase is to wear clothing with soft, inviting fabric. Girls will want to touch is (“Ooooh, soft!”) and then they’ll feel your body. You have to get them touching your arms, feeling your chest. Don’t flex or be showy, just let them squeeze. Move their hands over your shoulders if need be.

      Wear tighter clothes that aren’t too showy. Think snug henleys rather than Underarmor.

      Get some fitted tank tops from American Apparel. They are nice enough to wear around town.

      American Apparel also makes great henleys.

      (Or they used to, I haven’t shopped there in a while.)

  • Basil Ransom

    Great post. Awhile back there was a huge debate on the Roosh forum. It got pretty heated – I even got a warning because I wasnt tolerating the bullshit faggotry from the hipsters defending their smaller size.

    I’m not even big, nor have I ever been, but I suspected exactly what you wrote – the arguments against size were incredibly dumb. “These chicks answered these surveys!!” “I like my body the way it is! Being fit like that is too much work! (Notice the similarity to the fat fuck rationalizations there).” I even jumped on a lifting forum and asked guys if they ever experienced a dip in female attention from getting bigger, provided their body fat was similar in both stages. The answer was a resounding FUCK NO.

    I posted several several logical reasons behind my argument, which is identical to yours in its conclusion. One of them was based on a scientific study which found that hotter girls like manlier men – and those surveys of chicks include lots of fat, ugly girls in their sample.

    http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-6628.html

    • Danger & Play

      That thread is why I pre-empted any nonsense about the “Fight Club Study.”

  • http://Www.gentlemanmenace.com Will

    I’ve got a question about the beginning of your training. I recently purchased body of a spartan, and have been doing it inconsistently, but improving for about a month, juicing as well.
    When you started, do you just go “boom” “I’m working out 6 days a week.” Or was there a learning curve? I’m hungry for this, I feel this will be a massive peak of my self development, but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m a lazy mother fucker who can’t drag his ass in the gym.
    Any advice? (I’m active duty navy, so I’m no stranger to PT, I’m just no fan of anything except running.)

    • Danger & Play

      I’m like a big cat in the wild. I am extremely lazy. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.

      Lifting/bodybuilding is my passion. If I could, I would train every day for hours a day. (I would need to use a lot of drugs to do that, which is the reason I don’t.)

      An ideal day would have me get up, drink gourmet coffee, write/blog/answer Tweets/forum questions for a few hours, train hard for a couple of hours, eat a huge meal, eat another huge meal, and then go back to doing stuff on the net. Have sex and then sleep for 10 hours.

      That’s my “dream day.”

      Yet if you read my blog you probably think I’m some super motivated Type A person. That is not true. I am lazy. Believe me, so lazy. Just try getting me to work in my very lucrative career and you’ll see how lazy I am. I leave crazy money on the table each year (because I don’t want to work).

      You can be lazy while getting a lot of stuff done. You just need to find your passion.

      Then work won’t seem like work. Work will seem like play.

  • Rob

    I aesthetically like the fit look better, but you are in beast mode and I admire your discipline and work ethic.

    • Danger & Play

      A lot of girls and guys say that when I show old pics.

      But how they respond in real life is different.

      That was the message I was trying to capture.

      Bigger is better (even if it doesn’t “look” better on paper).

  • http://streetknowledge.wordpress.com streetknowledge

    New to your site and I love all the articles and this one especially is dead on. I have gone through a transformation the last 3 years and have dropped a ton of fat and put on some serious muscle. Prior to me letting myself go I was pretty much a slender guy with decent definition.

    Fast forward to now after being in the gym hardcore and my nutrition pretty much perfect, I look like a totally different dude and the reaction from women and men is night and day.

    Being big is a probably the best thing a man can do to gain an advantage is almost every situation. people as you say basically give you whatever you want and will make a path for you to succeed. I could go on forever about this but I will cut it short and say keep up the great fucking work and if you ever need a crazy cool black guys perspective, I am here and I will be sure to comment as much as I can.

    • Danger & Play

      Thanks for the comment. Welcome to the jungle.

  • ATP

    D & P, what are your

    age
    weight
    bodyfat %
    height

    back squat 1rm
    deadlift 1rm
    bench press 1rm
    overhead press 1rm

    ?

    thanks. great post.

    • Danger & Play

      Don’t know. That bb.com “stats” stuff is all ego bullshit.

      I don’t even free weight squat or bench. Machine stuff mostly.

      • ATP

        ok fair enough but can you at least tell me your age, weight, rough bf%, height ?

  • Larry

    Agree with this…always good to get bigger if your not that good looking…but nothing beats being good looking…the attention you get is much greater. If your good looking and big, getting laid is easy

    • Danger & Play

      I was obsessed with “stats” before, too. Later I learned it was counter-productive. What if I weigh 190…or 210? What difference does it make?

      I happen to have a really narrow waist/hips, so I always look heavier than I actually am. I know guys who weigh the same as I do and they aren’t carrying around fat and they are shocked to learn that we weigh the same.

      One guy at 200 might not look as good as another guy at 180. Just the way the game is.

      I’m 36. No idea what bf is. I am someone who holds a lot of water and can gain/lose fat quickly, so I fluctuate pretty widly in my midsection. If I had to guess, it’d be 14% or so.

      I’m likely going to start leaning out and doing an ebook documenting everything. (There’s something going on in my life that may prevent it, so we’ll see.)

      So….From Fat to Fit, from Fit to Big, From Big to Ripped, and then…? That’s the great thing about this lifestyle. It’s a “choose your own adventure” book.

  • Chill

    How many years training experience do you have?

    How much does the amount of gains you make overtime change, in your experience? Say you avoid putting much muscle on due to diet and training the first 5 years, does that mean you’ve wasted your beginner prime years to put on mass, or are you still able to make up for it?

    Thanks

    • Danger & Play

      Nah, with newbie gains (first 16 weeks or so) you’re going to gain muscle while losing fat simultaneously. After that it’s still easy street (insofar as gains come relatively easily) for a year or two.

      After 3-5 year you’re going to have tapped out your natural gains. By that point you need to really know your body and train highly intelligently if you’re going to continue making any gains. Even then, you’re only going to eek out gains.

      By that point, if you’ve been doing everything right for a few years, then it’s time to have the discussion with yourself regarding whether to stay “natural.” (That’s not the subject of this post so I’ll save my comments on it for a later date.)

    • Danger & Play

      Good question. I did martial arts/boxing since I was 10 years old and lifted to be a better athlete. Then at 19 I trained 4 years solid and got a nice physique. Got some nasty injuries and couldn’t train for a year or so. Gained a bunch of fat.

      Started peeling back the fat. Once I was “from fat to fit,” then I started added back on mass.

      So total training time…20 years? But knowing what I was actually doing? Maybe 10 years.

      Now I could take a guy and in 1-3 years have him looking fit and in 5 have him looking big.

      (Obviously, a shorter time frame for both of those if the guy wanted to use a lot of test, tren, and clen. I do not advocate that and think a man has to “earn” his anabolic steroids.)

  • Mina

    600 lb squat. Not only does this guy work his legs but he is strong as fuck.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-b7QCvnfVA&feature=c4-overview&list=UU5FaqTBy0c1jlRUHKu4SuXQ

    Hack squats aren’t squats. They will never make you as big or as strong as this guy.

    If you want to just look pretty, then you are on the right track. If you want to be big and strong you need to low bar squat.

    I realize that not everyone has heard of or understands what old school powerlifting is all about. I hate to see people who really want to achieve something waste time pansying around with activities that won’t get them there. You can take offense and make fun or go ahead and take a look at Rippetoe’s stuff and see if that’s more what you’re looking for.

    If I am mistaken – good luck to you and I wish you well in all your future endeavors.

    • Danger & Play

      Why should I care about old school powerlifting?

      So I can be beefy and impress other dudes?

      Grrrrr! You’re so brawny, bro, I want to rub your hairy arms and maybe end up needing hip surgery like Dave Tate and pretty much every other powerlifter who goes balls to the wall.

      Go to Gold’s in Venice. Look around at how the old guys train. None of that powerlifting bullshit.

      Longevity.

      (But some guys like hairy backs, so you probably get to go deep into a lot of swamp ass from fellow powerlifters.)

      • http://permakultura.net/ Permakulturnik

        “Go to Gold’s in Venice. Look around at how the old guys train. None of that powerlifting bullshit.”

        Hi D&P,

        as a guy from Europe I guess it would be cool if you write an article about how old guys in Gold’s Venice train.

        • Danger & Play

          Good idea. In the meantime, check out Ric Drasin’s YouTube channel. He has a lot of great information on Golden Era bodybuilding. He was a Gold’s in Venice OG and training partner of Arnold’s and he has a lot of great stories.

          https://www.youtube.com/user/ricdrasin

    • reaper23

      D&P knows about all that crap. You think you’re going to come here and start talking about mark fucking rippetoe like he is some unknown quantity? Jesus dude. You don’t get big like D&P and spend as much time in the gym as he has without knowing who wrote a book called STARTING strength.

      he belittled powerlifters in his response to you but he is mostly joking there. he knows all this shit. you’re out of your element dude just go away please.

      if you’ll notice his entire post was about looking good. not about bigger numbers. an entirely different goal which requires different approaches. why come here spouting low bar back squat shit when clearly pure hypertrophy is the goal?

      and i say this as a powerlifter!

      if you want to be preachy about your newfound passion of squatting 225 lbs for 5 then go somewhere else where the men aren’t talking. seriously, if you’re going to start talking power lifting can you at least use names like wendler, lilly, green, and simmons?

      • Danger & Play

        Have you heard of this guy called Bill Starr, bro? He has a program where you do 5 sets of 5 of the compound movements.

        Each week you add 5 pounds more to the bar.

        This means that by the end of the year I’ll have gained 250 pounds (50 weeks with 2 deload weeks in there) each on the squat, bench, and dead lift, right?

  • http://aboutlifting.com Ironthumb

    YUp,
    there will be that regular KINO done to you by women.
    You wont need to worry about touching anymore,
    and whats more is that women, even those you don’t know, will allow you to touch them more
    Where you know that they would have made a drama if the same thing was done by a skinny guy.
    Great post D&P, great development out there,
    You almost look like those engineer space jockeys from Prometheus

  • Z

    Good post especially for men over 6 ft. We have to fill out to look good.

    .Recently, I’ve tacked on a 20 rep dropset to my workout to gain mass.

    Do you recommend dropsets?

  • Phero

    Of course it makes a difference. Everything makes a difference.
    And it’s the same with having money, only those who don’t have money/success don’t know the difference.
    I still am a little overweight, but started lifting weights at home and everyone who I hadn’t seen for at least 3 mths told me how better & younger I looked.
    The women that already liked me touched my arms/shoulders while saying it and a few used the word “hot” and I’m not even on the “fit” category.
    It’s all part of the game. Words, appearance, power, success. Every bit counts and matters.

  • http://www.skinnyfattransformation.com Oskar @ SkinnyFatTransformation.com

    Great post.

    I can very much relate to your description of fit. When I train everyday and eat a moderate amount of carbs I look significantly bigger compared to when I do fat loss (lower carbs and less training).

    With that said, I was wondering about your opinion on lifting heavy weights when trying to gain muscle naturally.

    • Danger & Play

      My response to the haters was glib.

      I build the base of my body doing programs like German Volume Training, Super Squats, and 5×5. Now I do machines (and can still gain muscle) because there are a lot of miles on my body (Army training, martial arts training, boxing, brazilian jiu jitsu, street fighting, etc.)

      Ask yourself: When is the last time you heard of a guy tearing a pec while doing Hammer Strength presses? Now how many guys do you know who tore a pec benching?

      When I train heavy, I do DoggCrapp training.

      • http://www.skinnyfattransformation.com Oskar @ SkinnyFatTransformation.com

        Thanks for the quick response and compliment.

        I will check out DoggCrapp training.

        Great question there. You rarely hear about people getting injuries from machines and calisthenics, but heavy barbell lifts? All the time. That’s why I only did heavy barbell lifts for a year, built up to 4 plate dl, then just maintained while using lighter weights and higher volume. However, lately I’ve hit a plateau with the higher volume stuff, so I’m looking for new ideas. Progress is so slow now..

        • Danger & Play

          You’ll get a nice boost from DoggCrapp. Unfortunately there aren’t any single articles that really do the program justice. It’ll take you at least a few hours at the Dogg Pound at Intense Muscle to start understanding it: http://www.intensemuscle.com/forumdisplay.php?f=45

          • http://www.skinnyfattransformation.com Oskar @ SkinnyFatTransformation.com

            Thanks for the link I’ll read through it when I get back home.

    • Danger & Play

      Checking out your blog. Lots of good info there.

  • http://mrveins.com Mr. Veins – Mike C.

    This is true as all fuck – bigger is better.

    The primal lion will always outweigh and ultimately kill the skinny but strong panther.

    Great shit.

    • Wallstreetplayboys

      One fun question. So being fit is more attractive with shirt off, versus shirt on, was it still a big jump in attraction when you were in a beach setting (fit to big) or no change at all?

      Based on the post it seems like there was still a big change.

      • http://mrveins.com Mr. Veins – Mike C.

        Re-write whatever you were trying to ask me in plain english, chief.

        • Danger & Play

          I think he means this: Is it better to be small but ripped or big but not as ripped when you’re shirtless on the beach?

          I personally keep m shirt on. I burn like a lobster. Tank top game, and it’s gotten better with my size increase.

          • http://Mrveins.com Mr. Veins – Mike C.

            If the workout is for the girls at the beach it isn’t a real workout, so neither.

            I’m 5’8″, not a huge dude.

            But I’m big, and I’m strong as an ox and the girls who want me will come to me.

            Change your motives to change your body.

          • Danger & Play

            Right. I could have given a disclaimer saying, “I lift for myself, not for girls. I am just saying that girls will come.”

            But if guys are too dense to get that, then there’s not much sense in trying to reach them.

          • http://mrveins.com Mr. Veins – Mike C.

            Right on – once a guy has become infatuated with the idea that he’ll get clean cunt solely from weight lifting he has been forever lost in a sea of delusional pussy-thinking.

          • Danger & Play

            It’s a beta male frame from the start.

            “Do what you like.” That’s how I live.

            That usually brings the women around, but even if it doesn’t, my life is still being lived on my own terms.

          • http://mrveins.com Mr. Veins – Mike C.

            As it should be my man.

            Shoot me an email sometime, looks like we have similar interests.

  • http://roartrains.blogspot.hu/ Faun

    Total agreement here. Just in this month i got a lay a job and get past one medical exam for the job just because I’m stronger then most man.

  • Poledaddy

    I varied between fit and big from 23-28, then the past 3 years (now 31) I started focusing on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu so my lifts reduced to 1-2 days a week. Unfortunately I haven’t been the quickest study. I’m barely a blue belt at 3 years at a Renzo affiliate. I haven’t done great in competitions. So the odds aren’t great at me competing at high level any time soon. Regardless, my love for the sport is at a level that would still train BJJ if I stayed a white belt my entire life. There’s nothing like it. However, the biggest sticking point is that my muscular size and definition has taken a major hit the past few years – just being sore more often from BJJ workouts, or injured, etc. This post made me consider scaling back BJJ to 1-2 days a week and accepting BJJ as a “2nd tier hobby” and making lifting the first priority again. This probably significantly reduces my prospects for advancement in BJJ, but let’s face it, I’m not going to be winning NAGA anytime soon, and damn I miss the benefits of being big. Bigger really is better, no way around it.

    • Danger & Play

      I love BJJ but haven’t trained in years. Look around man. Everyone’s body is messed up.

      Back surgeries, knee injuries, shoulders messed up, fingers that won’t close. Even the legendary Rickson rarely rolls and instead surfs in Brazil.

      I want to be fit and jacked and vital at 50. To be fit at 50, you have to be smart at 30, 40, and 50. (You can be a dumb ass in your 20s but you can’t carry on those same habits into later decades.)

  • 4a552f55cbb9

    I put on about 14 pounds of lean muscle and got loads more direct unsolicited attention. Chicks at bars I hadn’t opened would ask for a flex and feel. I can’t say for sure whether it impacted approach success, though. I can definitely vouch that some women aggressively home in on it. This was only 174# on a lean and naturally narrow 5’10, so not even remotely big by gym rat standards.

    Thing is I feel so much better down at 160# with a 30″ waist. 170#+ was slowing me down horribly on the court. I also love doing hilly rides on the bicycle and I’d be fucking dying at the higher weight, and I wouldn’t have the energy or stamina after the weight training anyway. Puffed up doesn’t feel anywhere near as good as feeling fast, and pumping iron in preference to real sports is boring.

    I don’t care what chicks like. The Pacquiao or Ryan Lochte physique is what looks and feels good to me. You look way better in the blue tank to me; it’s perfect on your frame. I also kinda tend to assume “prole with cheesy taste” when I see a really puffed up guy, ’cause that’s what a lot of them are.

    In terms of chick reaction I daresay good suiting gets more desirable mileage than bulk. I’ve been cold approached on the street wearing straightforward $800 well tailored threads with the right accouterments. Details like an expensive stylish haircut do seem to matter.

  • splooge

    when u say i have friends bigger then u that havent reached that point..what do u mean?like they have bigger build but havent hit their potential?

  • http://www.intenseapexalphamale.com/wp I.a.a.m.

    Nice post Danger&Play.
    I currently weight 255 and will be working towards gaining up to 280 pounds of crisp muscle size not sloppy, so it takes careful planning. You are right when you say that some people respect size. The reason for this is because it’s like you say, people feel safe. Nothing say MAN like have large muscles. And nothing says metro sexual fruit cake like a fit stream line physique. Just look at all of the super heros, why do you suppose the Incredible Hulk is so popular while most of the others take a back seat. I am happy to see that you too will be packing much size. I think it’s a great goal so please keep us posted on your progress.

  • http://www.bodipua.com BodiPUA

    This article makes me think of my mate Steve Jabba (whom you may or may not have heard of. a London-based very successful pua). He’s really big and jacked as well and gets loads of attention off girls from it. I have to admit I’m very tempted to try and get more jacked up myself. One thing that puts me off, though, is nearly everyone I know that has done weights has fucked up their rotator cuffs at some point (including me, years ago when I did them). Usually from benching or shoulder pressing.

    I totally get what you’re saying about being fit and vital in your 40s and 50s. I have been toying with doing some BJJ myself but worry about getting injured; it just takes one joint injury to mean you can’t work out properly anymore, ever. Maybe I will just do yoga instead. This isn’t a joke. Have you seen old people who’ve done Yoga compared to old people who’ve done grappling?!

    • Danger & Play

      I don’t bench and I don’t do heavy overhead presses.

      I also don’t do “ego lifts.” No cheating or grunting out a one rep maximum.

      I do machine based training with no ego and haven’t had a serious injury in years.

    • https://portfolioarmor.com/ Dave Pinsen

      I’ve been doing Starting Strength for a while, which includes benches and (standing) shoulder presses. No shoulder problems so far. Two reasons why, I think:

      1) The SS M.O. has you alternate days when you press and when you bench.

      2) You bench a particular way, designed to avoid shoulder impingement.

  • http://www.bodipua.com BodiPUA

    ps.
    Being jacked and ripped makes a man sexually relevant well into his forties. Wrinkles don’t really hit till post 50 but from 40 to 50 most men become sexually irrelevant by having pudgy, fat bodies and puffy faces, together with shit hair and clothes. There’s no simpler way of a post 40 guy to increase his looks than by getting jacked and ripped.

  • William

    Hi Guys.
    I’ve seen that this obsession with big muscles is a trending fashion. Maybe the snowball begun somewhere in the high class down to the masses.

    And I mean, nothing wrong with have a good physical shape, with enhancing physical strength. In fact that’s great.

    But to me, big muscles are not that aesthetical. I’m more comfortable having an athletic body, yes like Brad pitt type if you want. Even if my own genetics allow me to delevelop big muscles, a good athletic body is the pefect point, that’s what I want for me.

    But if anybody want to develop big muscles, is very respectable.
    Personally, I prefer to spend more time developing my own mind, my own internal game, than to add more mass to the muscles.

    Peronally, I think that the own internal game, and financial status are heavier factors than muscular physique.

    Just an opinion.

    • Danger & Play

      You sound like a dork.

    • Poledaddy

      “Maybe the snowball begun somewhere in the high class down to the masses”. Should have stopped there, don’t know why I bothered reading the rest.

      • Danger & Play

        I usually delete moronic comments like that guy’s, but it was pretty funny and just goes to show how silly muscle haters are.

  • Shannon

    So here’s an interesting question – what do you think of girls who cross from fit to big? I’m putting on muscle mass now and would love to hear thoughts from an alpha male like yourself

    • Oreo Unchained

      The majority of men find very muscular women less appealing…however because so few women are that big outside of gymnasts/ figure competitors there will always be far more men who love that physique than you’ll ever need. Moreover, just not being the average american woman (5’3″ 166lbs of lard) you’ll still do fantastic.

  • sean

    “In the real world, I go by what women do and not how they answer survey questions.”

    true dat. i grew an excellent beard in the last 6 months and saw a definite increase in the IOIs from women. wish i’d done it years ago, but so many women _say_ they don’t like beards, too old, to aggressive-looking or whatever. they are wrong. they do like beards and can’t help it.

    or maybe i’m just kind of lucky that i have a big jaw and it works well on me.

  • GorillaJimmies

    “[...] if people want to give me free stuff because they expect me to smash things, who cares?”

    Lol