My body has undergone some interesting changes over the past few years. I’ve gone from fat to fit and then from fit to big(ish). I’m currently on the question to get an elite physique, which will take me another 2-3 years or so. While going from fit to big, I’ve noticed quite a few interesting things.
(The difference 20 pounds of muscle makes.)
What do I mean by “fit” v. “big”? When you’re fit, you get these awesome gym pumps and look amazing – for about 60 minutes. Then you’re muscles sort of deflate. You look also fluctuates greatly depending upon whether you’ve had enough carbs, whether you are hydrated, etc.
Once you pass a certain threshold, you always look like you have size. Here’s a pic of me just standing around doing nothing. I hadn’t been to the gym all day. The shirt isn’t tight fabric. It’s just 100% cotton that hangs however. You can tell that I train even when fully clothed, where as a fit person needs to take some clothes off before people can tell you spend a lot of time in the gym.
(The difference between being fit and being big is that you don’t need to take your clothes off or wear tank tops for people to know you train.)
Now although I’m big(ish), my body isn’t where it needs to be. I need to put on another 10-20 pounds of muscle before I’ll be happy with it.
Yes, women find you more attractive. Let’s just get this out of the way. I don’t care about that “scientific study” that allegedly shows that the ideal physique that women more desire is Brad Pitt’s from Fight Club. In the real world, I go by what women do and not how they answer survey questions.
I’ve been fit and big. I know what women find attractive. I know how to read what the nerds call indicators of interest.
You simply get more IOIs from women. That’s just the way it is. If you disagree with me and have never been on both sides of the fence, then you don’t have the right to an opinion. In short, I don’t want to hear any garbage from Internet nerds about what women want.
No, it’s not about confidence. Some will say, “It’s not that your’e bigger that draws more attention. It’s that being big makes you more confident, and this in turn translates to more attraction from women.”
No. I am a confident mofo and have always been confident. When you have the experience I have with women along with the ability to know you can beat up most guys, you have a certain swag.
I don’t really understand a lot of you guys. You read all of these books on evolutionary psychology like Sperm Wars and quote them like Gospel. Well, what is so hard to understand about this?
We are apes. In the jungle, size is king. Women like big men. That’s just evolution.
In the wild, everyone wants to be around the biggest ape and the biggest lion. In the human world, women want to be around the biggest men. It’s primal, it’s hard-wired, and it’s reality.
Women will outright grab you. At my birthday party, a girl came up from behind, grabbed me and said, “I know you! We met earlier today!” McQueen was there and witnessed it, so this is not Internet b.s. I had to shake her off as she wouldn’t let go.
There is no doubt that I could have taken her to my car within 5 minutes of meeting her. It wasn’t because of my “game.” It was raw animal sexuality.
And it’s not like that was the first time a girl has sexually assaulted me. Girls regularly grab my bicep and often they push their boobs up against my back even when there is ample room to pass by without touching me.
Men want to talk to you more. If I’m just sitting around minding my own business, a guy will come up and make conversation with me. They don’t even always bring up training. They just want to be around bigger guys. I know know why. It’s just something primal in us.
Men also assume that if you’re big it’s because you have your act together. I just met a VP from a Big Bank the other day. He just came to shoot the shit. He was a really cool guy and we might end up partying together in Cabo this Spring.
If I had been a skinny guy, he never would have noticed me.
You get more attention from the Bad Ass Bitches. What is the difference between hot and Bad Ass Bitch? I can’t say, but we all know them when we see them. There is a certain look to them that differs from girls who are merely hot or highly attractive.
People touch you more. Now I’ve been around long enough to know when a girl is grabbing me in a a sexual way and when she’s just curious. I also lived in San Francisco’s SOMA district (second gayest neighborhood other than Castro) and know when a gay man is making the moves on me.
My dermatologist is a 75 year old man without a gay bone in his body. When I was standing up at the counter to pay, he walked by me and sort of “jocked” me in a non-gay way. When girls you know hug you, they will physically squeeze you. Again, this is non sexual.
You get better customer service. “The squeaky wheel gets the grease,” and by virtue of being big people think you are angry and mean. I just got a free cup of hand-crafted coffee for, in the words of the hipster barista, “waiting in line quietly and patiently.”
I could talk about stereotyping and note that I am cultured, have travelled all over the world, and am widely read. But if people want to give me free stuff because they expect me to smash things, who cares?
You look more regal. If you were putting up some statues in your front office, you wouldn’t put gazelles or giraffes up there. You’d put something big and bad ass – lions, apes, wolves, etc.
As human beings, we’re attracted to large physical bodies.
Being bigger is better in every conceivable way. There is likely a point where you’re “too big.” I am bigger than 90% of men and yet I am not even close to being “too big.”
I have several friends who are bigger than I am and they haven’t reached that point. Keep striving to get bigger and you will be handsomely rewarded with more attention from women, better customer service, more money, and more friends.
Read next: Body of a Spartan Book Review.
UPDATE: “Do you even train legs, bro?”