Bigger Goals Require Higher Standards

Why do some men achieve a level of success formerly unthinkable only to stall out later in life?

We all know (or maybe we all have been) the guy who goes from not getting laid very often to suddenly getting laid regularly. He has a harem of 6s and an occasional 7, but he never really gets to the higher levels of pulling hot chicks.

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Or we know/are the guy who gets a great job but doesn’t seem to take things to the next level. He’s in middle management and will never be a CEO or baller. He’ll live a nice sustainable life earning $100,000 and that’s it.

We all stop making progress because we are holding ourselves to the same standards we used to reach our initial level of success.

Let’s use an example.

Goal:

  • Build a harem of 6s.

To build a harem of 6s, for example, you just need to start approaching more, work on your style, get a decent body, and run some game.

Whether you conscious realize it or not, you are setting standards for yourself. Your standards are the conduct you demand of yourself.

Your standards are:

  • Approach x-number women a day.
  • Find the right clothes to fit my frame.
  • Go to the gym 3 days a week.
  • Run some day game.

Those are general and your standards may be different, but you get the idea.

What if you want to go for 7s, 8s and 9s. Will the standards of conduct you’re holding yourself to get you there? I’ll bet not.

Let’s digress for a moment.

Although I’ve looked “good” and “fit” for a while, in 2013 I decided to get BIG – not just look like a guy who lives, but to look like a guy who is scary.

My goal:

To get bit I had to raise my standards. Being fit and being big are two different things.

Being fit requires you to train hard and frequently and eat a certain way. But missing a workout here or there isn’t that big of a deal. If you have an “off” or non-intense workout, no big deal.

Fit is good. Big is great. Let’s go from fit to big.

To go from fit to big, I had to change my standards.

My standards:

  • Where as before I wasn’t disciplined about getting 300 grams of protein a day, today I am. If I go out to eat with friends, I drink at least 50 grams of protein before hand. This ensures I never miss my protein requirement. (I use Optimum Nutrition protein powder.)
  • When travelling, I always bring at least 2 boxes of the best protein bar, Quest Nutrition bars.
  • I eliminated all recreational drinking. I haven’t so much as “caught a buzz” in 7 months and only drink a little wine with an occasional dinner.
  • I am in bed by midnight. Even though I suffer from insomnia, I am in bed trying to sleep.
  • I only go out, at most, once a week.
  • A workout that doesn’t leave me almost passing out isn’t intense enough.
  • 80% of my calories, even though on a bulk, had to come from low-glyemic foods, fruits, and vegetables. No huge hamburgers allowed.

I’ve made substantial progress towards my goal by holding myself to higher standards.

Now let’s go back to you.

What if you wanted to date 8s. Or earn $10,000 more this year. What standards would you need to set for yourself? What would you need to change?

Now read: Treat Mediocrity as a Crisis; What I’ve Learned from Normal People.

  • Nate

    I share your 2013 ambitions. Been training out of my mind lately with a lot to show for it.

    The difference:

    “Strong Enough” – 5x5s, 3 days a week, averaging 1.3 g/lb protein. Stuff like that.

    “Getting More Beastly Every Week”- 5×5, 3×5, etc any sort of strict rep structure can piss off, I’ll lift as heavy and with as much volume as I need. 2+ g/lb protein. 5 days a week at least. Overlapping body parts I don’t care, my body has gotten used to it. None of that “overtraining” bullshit.

    Programs like Strong Lifts are a great example of the “get a harem of 6s”.

  • Nick

    Great post, very focused and actionable. I’m in the midst of upping my standards for women I date. I’ve met some cool girls through learning day game since last summer, but I’ve mostly rested on my laurels as soon as I saw some success and then haven’t approached much in the intervening months. One of the day game websites I follow did a challenge this week to approach 7 girls for 7 days straight. In three days I’ve done 23 street/mall approaches, which have yielded two numbers, from a cute Iranian and beautiful Afghani girl (a 7 and a 8 in my book). I’ve realized that approach anxiety takes constant work to keep at bay and while it does get easier, taking weeks or months off in between approaches does you no good. I’ve recognized the value of momentum to get over the AA hump, and then the next challenge is really attracting the girl you approach so she doesn’t flake if you get the number. There are always more challenges to overcome as you go further, but my main take away is that you’l never get to a point where you can sit back and women (or money, or business opportunities, or travel experiences, etc.) come to you. It gets easier the more work you put in, but you’ve got to keep your foot on the accelerator and keep moving forward every day, otherwise you’ll end up settling instead of achieving.

  • John Rambo

    Gentlemen,
    this is John Rambo, Anti-Feminist Soldier. I am posting this on behalf of Peter-Andrew: Nolan© also now known as Joschua-Brandon: Boehm©. I am doing this because, as a young men who knows Peter well, I know he has our best interests at heart.

    Gentlemen,
    It is well known that five years ago, April 2008, I spent a month suicidal as I went through the process of disowning my former children. When I came out of that rather unpleasant experience I contacted other men who had been similarly affected. I realized that many men were killing themselves because of the criminal abuse of the family law courts all across the western English speaking world.

    As a direct result of this experience, and my compassion for my fellow men, I made a vow in June 2008 to re-introduce the rule of law into Australia and Ireland. Naturally, at the time I made the vow I had no idea how that might be done. We call it “throw your hat over the wall”. You make the vow and “figure it out later”.

    Along the way I have talked to many tens of thousands of men, perhaps as many as 100,000 men have seen at least one comment by me one way or another. What I heard from men in 2008 was that they were DESPERATE for a remedy for the crimes being committed against them in the family courts. They were DESPERATE to find a way to end the criminal effects of feminism on their lives. Because so many men told me the same thing I mistook this to mean they actually WANTED to solve the problems of the family courts and feminism. As I said. My mistake.

    Through very extensive research and labour, and collaborating with the best and brightest, the remedy for both the family courts and feminism was proven on 2009-11-26. A mere 18 months after I was suicidal. The court meeting that I did on 2009-11-26 I regard as one of the finest achievements of my life. Regardless? The very men I risked my life to create a remedy for have ignored that remedy, preferring to whine, bitch, moan and complain because that is far more rewarding to them than actually solving their problems. If they solved their problems they would have nothing to whine, bitch, moan and complain about.

    The remedy has now been available 2.5 times as long as it took to develop and has proved uniquely unpopular. I am hated for even talking about it. The blood of every man who kills himself due to criminal abuse in the family courts is on the hands of those perhaps 100,000+ men who have heard from me and done nothing. I did all I could. They did not. It is actually very simple.

    The mechanism for men to free themselves now is the Mens Business Association. The MBA provides individual based services to get men out of the control grid. Such services may well save the mans life from suicide. Going forward? It is necessary to create second economy outside the control of any government entity. Why criminals in governments can dominate and control men via the economy they will continue to do so. There is no reason for them to stop. The MBA is the proposal of a second economy outside the control of the government. This is a NECESSARY ingredient for men to live in freedom.

    Only a small percentage of men will want to live in freedom. Those men who want to live in freedom? You are invited to watch a short update on how we are going in our efforts to get the second economy going. Naturally? The second economy will grow just as quickly or slowly as men join in and contribute to it. Those who want to “stick with the government run economies”? You are welcome to do so. I wish you luck with that because you are going to need it.

    best regards

    your brother peter

  • NeoBushi

    Just started working by Madison Square Park in Manhattan where I am beginning to day game after work. I already have one pull that lead to a F-Close with a solid 8. year 2011 was the year of the 6 for me. 2012 the 7. 2013 I have closed 2 solid 8s. I am getting fitter and healthier. Eliminating all sugars and lactose from my diet. Strict paleo. I have been a gym rat for 4 solid years. My biggest year was 2010 where I was 210 lbs at 6’2″. Now I am a leaner, more cut 190lbs. Swimming, basketball, explosive exercise, and knee recovery. Taking powdered green tea with me to the club. I have 1-2 drinks max. Then pull girls over to the bar inviting them for a tea. They love it.

    My goal is to make a harem of 8s. Completely heal my knee and compete in league basketball. Follow my new blog at neobushi dot com

  • Rafael

    All the losers I know are afraid of setting higher standards, they see being average as a virtue (I’m serious, they really do). They have a subconscious tendency to believe that aspiring for the higher is immature so they brag about being “just another guy” as if they were saying “I’ve grown up”.