Why do some people take action where as most do not? Why would most men rather watch Internet porn than go to the bar and meet girls? Why do men hate on you when they find out you are bettering yourself by lifting weights, reading books, and generally kicking ass?
In a word, it’s all due to fear.
Tony introduces how fear is the life killer.
Tony Robbins believes that fear is the primary driver of human behavior. We live our lives based on fear. Fear controls us. It stops us. FEAR means, “Fuck everything and run away!”
Thus day 1 of Unleash the Power Within is about learning more about fear and how to conquer it.
Fear results from one of three sources: (1) a pattern of physiology, (2) a pattern of focus, or (3) a pattern of language. That makes a lot of sense when you consider why most people never take action.
People are fearful because their body language is poor. They shoulders slump and they generally walk around like beta males who are afraid of making eye contact with women. By changing your body language alone, you can reduce your fear. (However, to fully master your fear, you need to control all three sources that cause the state of fear.)
People also become fearful based on the strength of language. Most of us tend to exaggerate our problems. Someone who is having a bad day will not say, “Meh, today is sorta off,” but instead will say, “I’m so depressed.” By using the loaded term, depressed, the person becomes more fearful of whatever it is that is causing the underlying emotion.
A man who gets rejected by 9 women will say, “I am a FAILURE with women!” rather than recognizing the truth, “Even the best looking men occasionally get skunked. I’m just burning through the women who aren’t my type in order to find the ones who are. No big deal.”
All human beings fear rejection, so rejection isn’t a word a player should even have in his mental vocabulary. Otherwise you will think, “Damn, I got rejected again,” which will cause you to become more fearful. The better response is to say, “I guess she had a boyfriend.” I have long said that no woman ever rejects men. The only women who aren’t interested in me are lesbians or in happy relationships. By taking on that mindset many moons ago, the sting of rejection went away long ago.
Should you attend a Tony Robbins Seminar?
I’ve long been a fan of Robbins’ content, first studying it in 2000. If you’ve read much into NLP and the general “science of success,” a lot of the stuff will be very basic.
Even though I had a lot of background knowledge about NLP and a success mindset, I learned some very useful and “immediately actionable” knowledge.
Robbins big thing is to teach that your life has to match your blueprint. My blueprint has always been accurate. If you’re a man who maximizes what it means to be a man, you’ll generally succeed. Go to the gym, make some money, don’t be a pussy, read a book now and then, do something dangerous, get a little play, don’t’ whine, and generally the rest will fall into place. My rules are consistent with my life. My blueprint is fine so I don’t experience unhappiness that so many seem to have.
Robbins also focuses a lot on what he calls “state,” which is what the rest of us would call “mood.” Without realizing it, I would passively accept my state like a dirt bag beta male. If I didn’t want to do something (i.e., I wasn’t in the “mood” or “state” to perform a task), I’d say, “That’s not really my thing,” or, “I’m an adult. I don’t have to do things I don’t want to do.”
While it’s true that no one can force me to do anything, it’s equally true that my mind was doing a lot of rationalization. Sometimes I would let me state control whether or not I’d have fun, whether or not I’d see friends, or whether or not I’d do something fun.
I was too passively accepting my state rather than recognizing that my state is something that I can change. There’s no wrong state per se. If I want to feel angry, great. If I want to stay home on a Friday night, that’s my right as a free man.
But I have to be honest with myself. Am I being a passive beta male about my own emotions? Should I change my state to that of an outgoing person with a lot of energy before turning down invitations to hang? If I change my state and still want to stay in, then my emotions are not controlling me. But if a state change compels me to leave the house, then I was being an insufferable weakling.
State is affected by language/meaning you assign to words, focus, and physiology.
I rarely paid attention to state outside of the gym. I’d always, without calling it a “state change,” change my feelings in the gym. If my legs hurt or I felt like a workout was hard, my state would change, “If you die, you die. Who cares? If you can’t do another rep and the weight falls, who cares. Keep pushing.”
I would often go into the gym after long work weeks of getting my ass kicked. The first 15-20 minutes of the workout would suck. It would be a time of self-doubt and beta questions. “Why are you even here? You’re not trying to be a pro bodybuilder. This is stupid. Go him and rest. You can always come back tomorrow.”
By staying at the gym and controlling my physiology by lifting even when it was boring and hurt, my state would change. I HAVE NEVER LEFT THE GYM FEELING WORSE THAN WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE GYM. I would always tell myself that on bad days. “Have you ever felt worse after a workout? No. So keep working out until you get into a right state of mind.”
Sometimes this would mean doing 5-10 sets of the same exercise. I’d be too demoralized to train, so I’d get on the Hammer Strength back blast, load on some plates, take unusually lost rest intervals, and just keep doing sets of 10-15 until my vagina got the sand out of it. It always worked and then the workout would be great.
Yet outside of the gym, I wouldn’t pay much attention to state. If a friend texted me to hang out, even if this was a good friend, if I wasn’t in the mood then I’d just ignore the text or say not. Yet maybe I should have tried to change my state. Maybe I would have wanted to hang out?
My default state is anger
Even though my anger instills fear, it’s actually I who am being weak. If my default state is anger and my anger controls me, then I am ruled by emotions. Should I perhaps try getting into the state of a relaxed or happy person? Simply accepting my state without questioning it makes me the same as a woman who is ruled by her feelings.
You can change state using physiology (keep lifting until your mind gets right) and also by a change in focus.
Your focus determines what you feel. If you focus on Internet porn, you will feel lust. If you focus on someone’s nicer car, house, or lifestyle, then you will feel jealousy.
If you focus on your problems and navel gaze all day about every injustice, you will feel anger, anxiety, and depression.
To change how you feel is to change your focus. Everyone has had this experience: You’re angry about some real or perceived slight someone gave you. Then you see a guy in a wheel chair. Immediately you think, “Damn, I am lucky to be able to walk. I should go to the gym and stop being a whiny cunt.”
That’s a state change brought on by a change in your focus. You focused on someone else’s real problems instead of your bullshit problems. That changed how you felt. You still were having the exact same “shitty day” or whatever, and yet you didn’t feel so crappy. That’s because the focus shifted from your own petty life to something else.
Thus, “Change your focus, change how you feel.”
Thoughts after the end of the first day.
Robbins is the real deal. He was building a resort on Fiji for his private clients…when he was 26. The guy is an apex alpha on Arnold Schwarzenegger’s level. If you are so smug and self-satisfied that your mind closes to Tony Robbins, you are a delusional little hater who will do little in life.
If you go into Unleash the Power Within with the right mindset, you will find great value. Since I went with a friend, we got a BOGO discount. Join the email list and you’ll get notified about the buy-one-get-one free discount. I think Executive level seats (which are more than adequate, as every seat is good) were around $650 and General Admission were around $550.
Since it’s a self-contained seminar, that’s and extremely good value. Plus, maybe you’ll connect with some legit people who want more out of life.
Read more: Unleash the Power Within Seminar Review.