If you go in for an annual exam, you’ll get your cholesterol levels measured. (If you have insurance, get one every year. It will give you a baseline to determine how your body is aging and whether your diet and exercise program is working. I’ve had one every year since I was 28.)
The doctors will also measure your high density lipoprotein (good cholesterol), low density lipoprotein (bad cholesterol), and your blood lipid levels.
According to the Mayo Clinic, a cholesterol level below 200 is the goal; an LDL of 100-129 is ideal for people not at risk for heart disease; a HDL level of 60 or above is best, and triglycerides are best below 150.
I just got my report card in the mail. My levels are, respectively: 190, 118, 64, and 40. In other words, my blood is perfect.
Here is the lab report (alpha blood):
Look at all of that saturated fat. I cooked that in two tablespoons of coconut oil, to add more fat. I must be Paleo, right?
No. According to the Cult of Paleo, fruit is evil as it contains fructose. I drank a green juice containing carrots, oranges, and pomegranates along with all of that dietary saturated fit and cholesterol:
Then I ate 2 of these:
Since it was an off day, that was my entire eating for the day. (I’ll take another 10-20 liver pills before bed and that’s it.)
Yes, that was one meal. I don’t know how many calories that was or how many grams of protein, carbs, fat, or whatever it contained.
I’m not a cow who chews cod all day or who has to eat every 2.5 hours or else have a violent blood sugar swing. (Blood sugar swings are for women.)
I eat 1-2 large meals each day with lots of protein, saturated fat, fructose, and processed chocolate.
And have perfect cholesterol.
Train your ass off in the gym and you can eat whatever you want. You’ll have ideal cholesterol levels and perfect lab work.