How to Make Better Eye Contact

What color are your barista’s eyes? You probably do not make eye contact with people, and it’s costing you opportunities at your job and with women.

Making eye contact will teach you a lot about yourself and about others.

What a girl’s eye contact says about her first impression of you.

If a girl looks down ground, she views herself as having lower status than you. If you meet a girl who looks down, do not too cocky. She already feels insecure. Being too cocky will sabotage the exchange if you go on strong. Go direct with a simple, “Hi.”

Girls who look to the side after making eye contact view you as an equal or an inferior. She is looking away, a dismissive tone, rather than down, which is submissive. Be cockier around girls who look at you sideways. Use indirect openings to catch her attention, and do not be afraid to tease her.

What if you look down rather than hold eye contact?

If you look down, it means you’re submissive. If you look down after making eye contact with a woman, you have subconsciously told her that you’re a worm. You’ve lost the game.

Girls seem to enjoy getting into staring contests. Hold the gaze and then smirk. If she smiles back it means she is mirroring you reflexively. Call her over to you.

Learn the power stare.

If you want to fuck with someone’s head, stare at her forehead. This is called the “power stare” and it’s extremely effective on women you meet out and it works in the workplace too.

Learn to look through people.

If you don’t really care about your job and want to get out of the office, look down after your boss chews your ass. He will subconsciously process the eye movement as a sign of victory.

Sometimes you should lose the eye contact game.

If you care about your career, make eye contact and hold it. To avoid a power contest that you are sure to lose (but you don’t want to submit either), divert your attention to something on your boss’s desk. Then say, “I never noticed _______ about ________ before.”

You can use a girl’s eyes as a pick-up line.

The only time I compliment a woman is when I compliment her eyes. But don’t just say, “You have purty eyes.”

Say, “You have an intense gaze. Do men sometimes find that intimidating?” Then start talking about how infrequently people make eye contact. If you say something like, “People spend too much time looking at their iPhones,” she is less likely to answer texts while you’re talking to her.

Women are addicted to eye contact. If you frame the conversation by talking about her eyes, you will make a deeper connection with her.

All women like to believe that their eye color changes. This is especially true of girls with green eyes. If a woman has green eyes, say, “What color does your eyes change to in the sun?”

How to learn how to make better eye contact.

A simple way to learn how to make better eye contact is to practice on baristas, cashiers, and clerks. Imagine you are taking a quiz tomorrow. The quiz will ask you the eye color of 10 people you interacted with the day before.

When buying coffee, ask yourself, “What color was the barista’s eyes?”

You’ll learn to hold eye contact long enough to find out the answer.

When you arrive at work, be prepared to answer the same question about your co-workers’ eye colors.

If you can’t say what color a person’s eyes are, then you’ve failed the quiz.

Bonus tip: Your eyes will follow your chin. If you want to maintain good eye contact, keep your chin up.

Read moreThe Power of Eye Contact (Amazon).

  • Alpha Male Supreme

    Brilliant. Every game running Alpha knows this is the absolute key to turn the tide on any woman in any situation.

  • Dick Balzac

    I’ve been doing this for awhile now.

    One thing I’ve noticed is that most people have those bland dark brown eyes.

  • rivsdiary

    fucking awesome post.

    i remember reading an article out there about bill clinton and the power of eye contact. will look for it.

  • rivsdiary

    interestingly, it was written by michael ellsberg, the same guy who wrote the long essay about tucker max.

  • Jarl

    I’m guessing it’s better to make too strong of eye contact than to make weak eye contact? How would a guy know if he’s being too intense with the eye contact?

    • dangerandplay

      Trial and error. If you’re in the game for the long haul, what’s 100 mistakes in the grand scheme of things?

  • rivsdiary

    yohami also has a killer post about eye contact:

    he says to “taste” her eyes. don’t see it as a challenge.

  • rivsdiary

    the yohami post actually talks exactly about that.

    the question to him was:

    “How should I respond to a girl staring directly into my eyes? What should I do? are they trying to test my alpha-ness?”

  • Basil Ransom

    I actually met an Aussie in a bar last week, and I challenged her to a staring contest. Always a good bit of fun, and great for macking. Except she meant even *with* blinking – the game ends not when someone blinks, but when someone looks away. We had our eyes locked on each other for at least a few solid continuous minutes, it was very trippy. *I* actually lost, when she asked me something and I looked away to recall it. Definitely try this little game out.

    Great post, the ‘note her eye color’ is a great exercise. Also never heard of the forehead stare before.

    Ended up taking her home and fucking her, she was even emotionally invested, obviously desirous of more intimacy but she was leaving town. I don’t think it made or broke the pickup, but it’s at least a tool in the arsenal.

    *I hate

  • Alpha Traits

    Good eye contact is one of those traits, like body language, that you can improve immediately. All you need is a mirror.

    Bill Clinton had this trait nailed down;

  • Roman

    I call women in Chicago who were those big sunglasses “Lady Bugs” because how they use them to avoid eye contact.

  • rivsdiary

    RSD tyler has a great video too, looking for it

  • Badger


    When I got serious about eye contact as part of my game, I began to notice tons of heretofore unknown attention from women. A lot of it was probably there before and I was just too clueless to notice.

    I have used Roosh’s staring-contest-to-koss routine to great effect.

  • nah1108

    “Imagine you are taking a quiz tomorrow. The quiz will ask you the eye color of 10 people you interacted with the day before.”

    This is key. This is something you can do, right this second, to immediately improve how people perceive you today.

  • And Balls

    This is the key to creating your own little bubble with a girl. One told me last week that it was like I was looking into her soul. At first it was felt strange and made me nervous, but with some practice it was energizing, and I could feel the girls locked in.


    great post

  • Jason

    An excellent post! I’m all about the eyes and their power!

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  • PermanentGuest

    Nothing truer than the “power stare.” It throws off men and women alike, especially those who attempt to be intimidating.

  • Tom

    ha. I guess I am a chick – my green eyes do change in different light. Recently a waitress from another part of the restaurant came over to me and asked (as I ate alone) ” is that your real eye color?” As she bored into my eyes with her own. I am recently divorced, concentrating on work (professional – high value) but this caught me unprepared. I did maintain eye contact – but said something lame – “yes, they are from my mother’s side of the family.” What should I have said?

  • theprofessor

    Tom. you shoulda said “my eyes change color in the dark”. she will then go home, change out of her wet panties, pull out her candles, kick out her cats, invite you in, and bang you while you eye-fuck her.

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  • 3rd Millenium Men

    Brilliant post. Will be linking to this in a Best of the Manosphere.

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  • SeductiveGod .

    I made strong eye contact with this hot girl once and then I looked down. I messed up because I was new to the game and I didn’t want to look like a creep.

  • Michael Hood

    I’ve been experimenting with eye contact. When it comes to women who look to the side as if they think you’re lower than them, clerks, baristas, customers, etc., keep looking at their eyes every time you have something to say even if they’re not pointed at you. You’re communicating that they’re being disrespectful and that you won’t accept that they’re not merely indicating sexual disinterest. You’re demonstrating what respectful communication is, and if they don’t reciprocate, they’ll realize that they’re being rude even if they don’t change. The only way that they can maintain their lie that they’re better than you is by avoiding eye contact. So, when the last interaction between you happens, speak louder and more intently as if they weren’t able to hear you. When you’re speaking, don’t lean forward; it’ll lower your head. Cock it to the side, as if you’re considering something. They don’t know what you’re considering, but their subconscious will think that you’re evaluating them and if when you do this you’re still talking as you were, they’ll think that you’ve found them lower than you. Don’t nod at other men or women. It’s the curtsy of the male world. A nod is really you momentarily lowering your head because you recognize that another person is better than you. They aren’t better than you. Don’t lower yourself. Imagine that there’s a line coming out of people’s faces perpendicular to the front of their face, like Pinocchio’s nose. If this line is pointed at you when they communicate, then they’re being direct and respectful. Oftentimes submissive, insecure, fearful, or jealous beta-people will point this line away from you and still speak. This causes one eye to be more engaged with you than another. If you look into the eye that is pointed at you, you’ll feel what emotional mindset they want you to see. If you look into the eye that is on the far side of that line coming out of their face, then you’ll see that fearful, insecure, hidden, truer state of mind that they’re trying to hide. If you look into that eye when you talk with them, you can actually pull them back into communication with you by showing that you’re kind, respectful, and not aggressive with bad intent, just direct, masculine, dominant, and alpha. It will strengthen them, make them feel validated, and change the situation. Don’t believe me? Look at some photos of celebrities where they are looking at the camera and their face is not perfectly centered on the camera lens. You’ll see the two mind-frames. Then, go and try it in the wild.

  • ofwd

    stop eye fucking me, women. no one cares about you. go away and let me live my life in peace. it’s harassing.