Lie About Your Age

The nerds at OK Cupid ran the data to answer this age-old question: At what age is a man most desirable? Age 27 is the sweet spot.

Christian Bale was 27 in American Psycho. Arnold Schwarzenneger was 27 during his peak Mr. Olympia run. Jean Claude Van Damme was 27 in Bloodsport.

27 is a great year to be a man. By the time you’re 27, you’ll have outgrown your baby face. Your jaw should be square. You will also have impeccable skin. Gone are the pimples of youth and yet to be seen are the wrinkles of old age.

I’m well beyond 27 and life is still good. But if I could have frozen myself at 27, I would have.

Not every man can say he’s 27. If you’re 22, you probably won’t be able to pass for 27. If you’re 37, you won’t be able to pass for 27.

A 36-year-old man is still highly desired, as is a 22 year old kid. But try putting yourself as close to the sweet spot as possible.

If you’re 22, shoot higher. If you’re 42, shoot lower.

When I tell guys to lie about their age, they all say the same thing, “What if she finds out the truth?” Questions like that are why I could never earn a living being a “dating coach.”

Seriously, guys, that is such a gay ass question that I can’t even handle it.

Are you a bunch of fags? Who cares? Oh my god. Are you going to meet your soul mate? Is she going to break up with you after finding out the truth? Will you have to snuggle you pillow to deal with the heart ache and pain?

Besides, if you fuck a chick right, she won’t care about the earlier lies. Just run this escape tactic:

I have something to tell you.
What is it, babe?
I don’t know if I should tell you, as it would ruin everything.
[Thinking you have weeping AIDS sores and a felony rap sheet for child molestation] It’s OK, babe. It doesn’t matter. Just tell me.

She’ll tell you that all is forgiven. The escape also allows you to share an intimate moment.

What you guys don’t understand about women is hurting you. Women don’t have a firm understanding of truth and falsity. Truth is eternal. Women only understand how they feel in the present moment.

When you confess your lies, she will feel great! “It took a lot of courage to come clean. I feel that we’ve grown closer as a couple. It’s important for you to know that you can tell me anything.”

Lie about your age. And spare me any bullshit about morality. I can assure you that she’s halved her total number of sexual partners. Seduction is deception.

Also, stop asking pussy questions.

You can’t get in trouble if you don’t care.

Fearing getting in trouble with some woman reveals that you care too much, which means you’re weak.

Stop caring and you’ll never again fear the repercussions of lying to a woman.

  • Asf

    Amen. I have just done this and th repercussions were nonexistent. There is a certain strain of thought in the sphere that puts an undue emphasis in being honest. I’m not sure I agree with it.

  • loosewin

    I love this blog. I admit sometimes I get weak and posts like this snap me back in the proper mindset.

    “Are you a bunch of fags? Who cares? Oh my god. Are you going to meet your soul mate? Is she going to break up with you after finding out the truth? Will you have to snuggle you pillow to deal with the heart ache and pain?

    Going to commit that to memory.

  • Jaad

    Agree with Asf. My GF that is 13 years my junior actually got giddy when I ‘confessed’ to being 8 years older than my dating profile said.

  • WesternCancer

    Girls truly couldn’t care less after they are attracted to you, but will immediately use your real age to disqualify you if its one of the few pieces of information they have about you.

    I ran an experiment on OKC where I upped my age to 23. (I’m 20). My response rate increased noticeably. One of the girls I ended up going on a date with asked me “how old are you” I replied 20. She said oh… you’re really mature for your age and gave me a smile. No problem whatsoever.

    • crunchie

      What are the common boundary ages? If an 18 year old asks what age you are (before attraction is built of course) what are the trigger ages where she categorises you as too old.

      • Wingwoman

        30 but I can only speak to personal experience. Even as tender young thing I realized anything more than 10 years is pushing it most of the time because you don’t understand each other the same as someone in the same age group without working at it. It’s not so much about age but that people of different ages usually have different lifestyles and priorities also.

      • xsplat

        I also used to think that anything more than 8 years was too huge of a culture difference.

        But then I started dating women from different cultures. It turns out that a big culture difference isn’t that big of a barrier to intimacy, fun and enjoyment after all.

        My girl now is 23 years younger. My last one was 24 years younger. Before that 17 years younger. Before that 17 years, then 18, then 19, then 20, then 18 years younger then… well, you get the point.

        Forget about dating someone half your age plus seven. The best age range is from 19 to 23, and up to 28 can sometimes be acceptable. That’s it. It is irrelevant how old the man is. The only reason they say half plus seven is to make a virtue out of necessity when they can’t get a woman in her ideal age range.

        Women don’t mature anyway. A twenty three year old individual female is going to behave in very similar ways when she is 43. Different women are differently matured.

  • primallykosher

    I’m turning 27 this year soon. Still have some pimples though.

  • M.Stern

    What are realistic goals for seducing young girls for guys in their 40s and 50s? I’m just getting into the PUA game now at 42. Are their 50 year old guys out there who are not famous getting 25 year old girls? I’m thinking that 30-35 should be attainable for men up to 60 if they are well preserved and game aware and extremely charismatic. Of course the more money the better. I’m trying to guage what’s possible.

    But I agree about 27. Its the perfect age. 27-33 is a real nice sweet spot.

    • Anonymous

      You missed the point of the post. If you are in your 40s or 50s, then you’re in your 30s as far as any female is concerned. If you don’t really understand this and aren’t willing to lie, forget about dating women more than 15 years younger.

  • FFY

    Yup. Just lied about my age recently, I keep meeting and hanging out with 25 year old chicks, learned my lesson the first time around.

  • samseau

    I really don’t get guys who refuse to lie to women

    • Wingwoman

      Men with integrity do tend to baffle those without it.;)
      Inversely to widely held opinion some people actually value quality and you aren’t going to get quality and keep it when you start off lying. It’s a glaring red flag when people are so insecure they can’t even tell someone their age.

      • xsplat

        The way I used to work it is that I’d lie on the dating website, but then immediately tell the truth when asked in person.

        That changed as the age disparity grew, not because of insecurity but because of practical concerns. There is a real world out there that is not a reflection of self esteem and security. In order to deal with reality, we must deal with more than internal attitudes. Nowadays I lie until the girl is emotionally hooked. It’s pragmatic. At this point I can date more girls by lying than I can by not – of any quality. Age as a number absolutely is a deterrent to a good proportion of women.

        And my girlfriends usually lie to their family and friends about how old I am too.

      • drunicusveritas

        After attraction is built you can safely tell them whatever you’d like, true or false.
        If it’s the first question out of their mouths, just be very confident, but tell them what they’d like to hear.
        I used to feel ashamed of lying to women – until I realized that every single one I’ve ever ever met lied to me, shamelessly, and always will, now and forever. (Usually for very self-interested reasons).
        There’s little point in being upset about female dishonesty – it’s just the way they are.
        But in the land of the liars, the honest man will lose. Act according, my brothers.

  • Nine Furies

    Yea stupid hypocrisy in some pua circles that being “honest” is good karma or some other gay shit.


    In fact a bro I have who I heavily influenced to learn game recently just told me Im a piece of shit cuz Im cool with lying to chicks. Meanwhile this bastard is currently fucking a married chick.

    I think it all comes down to peoples need to justify the shit they do and think they are a “good” person deep down.

    Lol gay

    On the age thing I havent felt the need to lie about it yet. Im 31 and proclaim it arrogantly to the chicks I game(who are low-mid 20’s range). Ive found that alot of young girls….more then I ever realized before I got into game loooovve older dudes or just plain dont give a dam your age if you game them right.

    BTW D&P I got all the books on your last booklist and Self Reliance by RWE is the fucking shit.

  • xsplat

    Many years ago I was offended when a buddy suggested that I looked younger than my age and so could lie to the girls. I thought it was really disrespectful to the girls, and thought much less of him for it.

    But now in online profiles I’ve remained 39 year after year. When my 21 year old girlfriend saw my passport and noticed the big difference, she only smirked. By then she was already hooked. But if I’d have put my real age on my dating profile I doubt I’d have got there.

    The change in perspective is huge. I’m not sure how I got from A to B unless it was necessity. Kind of like that 48 hours movie with Eddie Murphy. Morals are fine until they get in your way, at which point you discover that you are flexible.

    I’d rather have the 21 year old than my morals.

    • Wingwoman

      Age is just a number. She probably wouldn’t care even if you had been honest from the begining. The reason it matters on dating sites is because you use an age limit to do searches and sometimes people use old photos. In real life people know age is fuzzy because everyone ages at different rates.

      • xsplat

        I use old photos too.

        I do what I hate that women do. I misrepresent myself. The girls often say that when they see me in person they wonder if I’m the same guy as in the photo.

        The stats from dating sites show that women are very picky about looks and age and height and income. These are the cues she uses to choose the best man she can get. So to just get that initial date, many men lie about their height, age and income. The good news is that once you get that interview in person, you have a chance to wow her with other qualities that she can find suitable to her hypergamous desires. Qualities she could never see from a dating profile.

        Women also lie about their age and use old photos. Or they use a carefully crafted mask of make-up and studio photos with lighting that hides skin defects. They can look like a completely different person. I’ve been surprised even by the difference between the girl on web-cam and in real life. That’s why nowadays I demand she send me a photo from her phone, and it must show her standing up from her toes to the top of her head, and in a clothing that doesn’t hide her figure.

        The things we can show on a dating profile do matter to women, but the matter less than the do to men. Women screen using that info, because they can, but they in person they don’t choose using that info alone. Men however do choose based largely on that info. At least for short term relationships. If she’s hot or not is the choice.

      • drunicusveritas

        I find that online and in personals, even very heavyset, older women with children have very specific, very very unrealistic expectations. It astonishes me how even the ones who are almost honest about being disgusting fatsos – words like “curvy,” or “full-figured” are dead giveaways – still resort to their deepest hyperganous impulses and list desired traits like “tall, no less than 5’11”, generous, no kids, professional (ie, 6 figure income), non-smoker, no kids or ex’s, under 30 (or under 40) ” blah blah blah – essentially, the type of man whom in real life she would be invisible to, or the type of man who’d find her out of the question.
        I would in general not recommend dating sites. There are very very few attractive women that belong to them – most are grossly, grossly obese – or are so socially retarded that they’d make hideous girlfriends, mates, FWB’S, or spouses.

  • xsplat

    Trading places, not 48 hours.

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  • Randy

    Meh, I don’t have to lie about my age. Probably never will. I’m cool though.

  • Mark Minter

    There is a famous rule from Leo Schwartz, the philosophy professor from Univ of Chicago, about what ages are good for a man. Half your age plus 7. Then a 30 year old is good for a 22 year old. 40 is good for a 27 year old. 50 for 32 year old. It somewhat depends on how you look. How much money you make.

    But some women feel that a younger woman can deal with a much older man, like 15 years. Then a 30 something wants only 4 years and a 40 year old wants him the same or younger. But my experience is plus or minus two years around the half plus 7 will work.

    I have never had anyone freak out over age when finding out the real age. All is fair in love and war. If you get left over it then you were lucky. Go back out and find another one. Lie to her. But try and keep ID, passports, things with birth dates under control for bit of time. They have no guilt over going into phone, wallets, pockets, drawers. They feel it their right and their duty. But if blows up on you, so fucking what, you wouldn’t have gotten that far if you would have told her truth. After 45, you fall of a lot of age ranges. After 40 actually. Try and stay under 50 as long as you can get away with it.

    Now I, of course, would dump a woman that said 39 and was 44. With men, age is just a number, with women it isn’t. That vagina is fixing to break and I don’t want a woman with a broken vagina. Also women in their mid 40s are bat shit crazy, that whole women of certain age thing. I’d rather be alone. Actually you should suspect that any woman that says 39 is lying. So just avoid them in general. Set your limit at 38. Not fair? Tough shit.

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  • Anna90

    Young female reader here, and I don’t entirely agree with this. I’ve just discovered this blog, I read a lot of posts at once and loved them. But this I don’t get (please excuse any English mistakes, I’m not American).

    I honestly think you are projecting some male ideas onto women. Men care about age – a lot – about fitness, beauty, youth. They want a woman as close to her physical peak as possible. Although they want a bright and personable woman, they would often choose a younger one with less maturity.
    Women aren’t men. Despite being 23 I have dated a couple of guys over 40. Most girls I know draws the line at 30 or right above, and it isn’t everyday I meet an older guy I’m really into, it’s rather rare. But when I do, he has to fit his category. I would choose a man that age because he is experienced, intelligent, well-travelled, comfortable around women – he’s a grown up. A major part of that is being comfortable in his own skin, his life and his age.
    Most 40-something men are outside the market for younger women. Some of them have gained weight, lost their hair and tells “dad” jokes. Those are the obvious dorks men don’t want to become. But then you have the other group – those in too-tight printed T-shirts who’s more into pop culture than younger generations. At times they even write “lol”.
    A man who’s 40 has to be okay being 40 if he’s going to have a shot. It’s a different category. If I wanted a hot 27 year old, that’s who I’d be dating. I have different expectations and preferences in a 40 year old man.

    For saying that it won’t be a dealbreaker to find out about the lie – it depends. I’ve experienced an otherwise very attractive guy lying about his age, and it put me right off. The former professional athlete with his own company and millions in the bank suddenly looked like a sad man clinging to lost youth.
    Trying to twist the entire “coming clean” to something positive is plain ridiculous. There is no positive spin on this. And I don’t care about the moral part of it at all, it’s a small lie and everybody lies. The point is it shows incredible discomfort with yourself. It’s the opposite of anything I’d want in a man.
    If she’s willing to date an older man, she won’t care about your real age. If she’s not interested in an older man, she won’t be interested in you.

    Hope I don’t come across too harsh as I otherwise love the blog. The fact that it is so good is why I felt compelled to response, because I am afraid men will take this to heart.

  • Clay99

    I lie. I’m 43. Most people think I’m 32 so just say I’m 36. No one has ever been mad about it. Even the girl that looked at my drivers license after making out with me didn’t care that I had lied.