Do You Want Children?

This has unfortunately been in large part representative of what happens after the baby arrives:

  1. Husband and wife (if they’re even married) agree to have kid.
  2. Husband gets wary when wife gets knocked up, wife cries when knocked up.
  3. Nine months of bitching and no sex for Husband.
  4. Baby arrives.
  5. No sex.
  6. Kid ages and parents try to resume lifestyle of carefree 25 year olds yet their kid(s) get in the way, creating resentment between the two parents, as well as the parents and kid.
  7. Divorce.
  8. Kid hates self.
  9. Parents hate each other and self.
  • theprivateman

    When I tell people I never wanted kids, I am usually asked why. My short answer is this:


    I usually get a quizzical look. My follow up response:

    “I like those things.”

  • Robert

    Thankfully, my parents decided to have children.
    Now I can focus on getting sleep, sex, friends and money, too.

    • Dhatz

      Yay, somebody cared. The thing is everything depends, healthy women can have sex not far after birth.

    • M3

      Indeed. That’s the beauty of life. Doing what you want with it and not being obligated to do something under the premise that you ‘owe’ your creators anything beyond enjoying your life.

      Anyone who has children with the idea of being owed for it is an idiot and should be sterilized.

  • Hubbard

    Step 6 is where the error occurs. I’m considering children, though not for some time. Once they’re here, we can’t go back to being 25 year olds. I’ve found someone who understands that now, before the kids are here, is the time to experiment. We know that children will bring a ton of stress and expense, and that we might not get around to a wine tasting or a night on the town for years.

    One writer who covered this issue fairly well is the last psychiatrist here

    and here

  • Linanati

    It depends on the couple. My husband and I have as much sex as we did before having kids.

    When I was pregnant with my son, I wanted it all the time. There was a period of several days when I wanted it 3 or 4 times a day. I felt like a teenage boy, wanting sex all the time! Finally my husband had to tell me he couldn’t anymore because he had to get some sleep so he could do his job.

    I swear I was being affected by my son’s testosterone. I didn’t feel like that when I was carrying my daughter.

  • Fearless

    In the far future, with a early 20’s foreign girl yes. I’m in no rush, if you have your shit together you should be getting faster, stronger, smarter, and wealthier everyday. With that said, the options I have now for a wife/ mother of my children are good, I can only imagine how good the new ones will be in 10 years.

  • Days of Broken Arrows

    “I don’t have kids. Kids are for poor people.” — Tom Leykis.

  • Whitehall

    You need to understand the differences between short-term pleasures and long-term satisfactions.

    I’ve had 5 children, with three of them as a single guy parent.

    Sure, I had to forego pleasures many times but now, later in life, there has been nothing comparable to the life satisfaction of have raised babies into honorable manhood and womanhood.

  • Samim S

    Mike, i so wonder, you have the same decisions that i have about life in way too many areas. Most men however clear they understand about the way kids drag down your life’s mission and even if they don’t know why they want to have kids in the first place, eventually want to impregnate a girl and make a kid pop out. I never heard one rational reason from any man who wanted to have kids other than the usual sustaining his generation and other feel good non sense