Four Days of Impotence

For over two decades, I would wake up with an erection. I often joke that my cock is a “monster that demands to be fed.” Even when having regular sex, I enjoy porn.

I’ve also been a caffeine addict, drinking 1-2 pots of strong coffee each day. As part of a detox, I stopped drinking coffee.

The first night I slept sixteen hours. The second night, fourteen. For the next several days my mind was sluggish and my body was weak. Dead lifting 50 pounds less than last week’s weight felt twice as hard.

I also become impotent.

Nothing could get me up. My horny girlfriend kept nagging me for sex. I told her, “Look at it. It won’t move. Try if you want, but nothing is going to happen.”

She couldn’t do anything to turn me on. I laughed.

There was no insecurity or apologies. I didn’t have “performance anxiety.” Nor was I upset. My cock and I are great friends. We go way back, and I understood that the detox was depriving him of his usual nutrients.

I thought it was funny. “You don’t turnn me on anymore. Let’s just be brothers and sisters.”

In truth, I didn’t even achieve an erection from porn. Impotence was amazing.

Being impotent gave me a chance to experiment with Buddha’s philosophy. Buddha, like other monks and ascetics, believed that all human suffering was caused by desire.

If we simply stopped wanting things, we’d stop suffering. Thus, Buddha’s Four Noble Truths:

1. Suffering exists
2. Suffering arises from attachment to desires
3. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases
4. Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path

As an impotent man, I no longer desired sex. My “attachment to desire ceased.” I was thus free from the suffering of my cock’s extreme sexual urges.

Four days later and my cock is back to normal. Having lived the Buddhist’s Paths, I can tell you something.

Desire feels great, because desire compels you to action. The man who wants nothing is moved to accomplish nothing.

My swollen loins inspire me to get out of bed and into the gym. The same circulatory and endocrine systems that power my erections fuel my body with rage.

Rage feels good. Hate feels good. Contemplating the destruction of another person feels awesome.

Pleasure is a great thing. The freedom from desire impotence gave me was nothing compared to the pleasure of an orgasm.

Buddha was a revolting beta male who quit life because he was too afraid to suffer, strive, and accomplish.

  • http://flyfreshandyoung.wordpress.com FFY

    Those last 5 paragraphs…

    “The D&P Manifesto” perhaps?

    • http://dangerandplay.wordpress.com dangerandplay

      Nice. More or less, yeah, that’s my life philosophy.

  • fascistbrah

    when are you going to start selling synthetic testosterona to beta males to make them alpha?

    it’s the next step of game.

    • http://dangerandplay.wordpress.com dangerandplay

      When conceiving of the blog, I initially anticipated more posts on ways to raise testosterone, optimize life through judicious supplement use, and be an overall bad ass.

      Playing with exogenous testosterone is a last stop. (The only juicing I do is with this.)

      • http://fascistbrah.tumblr.com fascistbrah

        Strong unnatural juice weasel there. (joke) I imagine that is a great way to get in your fruits and vegetables easily.

        The benefits of testosterone are numerous. I would be interested in reading your thoughts on this subject.

  • modernguy

    30 something going on 15.

    • zorroprimo

      Oscar Wilde wants his wit back.

  • http://www.therulesrevisited.com Andrew

    This post is on point – especially the last part. I’ve had this experience too when I’ve fasted from masturbation and sex. 30 days without an orgasm makes you almost drool at the hint of anything sexual. But then when you finally come after the 30 days, your libido tanks and you could give a fuck less about women for a solid week or two. I’ve also experienced the same effect to lesser degrees when I’ve abstained for shorter periods of time. It is something akin to the shrinkage of one’s stomach and the corresponding loss of apetite that occurs in a starving animal (human or otherwise).

    But my conclusion is the same as yours: I WANT to be horny. I ENJOY feeling the allure of a beautiful woman and then fulfilling that desire. The drive to action in order to satiate an appetite is – in many ways, though perhaps not all – one of the things that makes life pleasurable.

    Nice post.

  • vagabond

    buddha also says – celibacy of an impotent man is of no use.

    The point is that the wise ones are able to direct that energy towards whatever they want – it may be having the energy to move mountains, or just experience spiritual bliss. The contentment of spiritual ecstasy is very different from dull and boring peace you exhibit when your energy is low. Nirvana is said to be closer to state of constant orgasmic high. In that state also, you will not have any desire….

  • http://xsplat.wordpress.com/ xsplat

    I will agree with you that the whole absence of desire shtick is a dead end.

    Vajrayana Buddhism, which is built upon Mahayana Buddhism, is far more sophisticated than that old school doctrinaire crap.

    Desire is good.

    Having no testosterone is bland. Being desireless is bland.

  • Jason

    POW! A hard hitting post revealing the truth!

  • http://dailysatanist.wordpress.com dailysatanist

    D&P, Prince Siddharta simply wanted to regain, on a more sublime level, the sheltered existence he had in his youth. Don’t be so harsh on him.

    I take refuge in the… ;)

  • evan

    I once injured my dick and couldn’t get hard and stopped getting morning wood…it freaked me out bad …my girl thought it was her..it was pretty funny watching her suck my flaccid cock though but I went all out to fix my problem…what helped the most was…3-5 grams of l arginine…this shit makes u hard as hell….also the 5 gs ..garlic(odorized liquid caps), ginger capsules, green tea liquid extract droplets, ginko bilboa and one of my favorites Ginseng.

  • Fartholomew Simpdaughter

    Interesting.

    I’ve experimented on and off with this as well.

    Ever since I heard about the two versions of alpha males, I’ve been curious to experience both. The first being Gandhi type (a visionary, someone with deep inner peace, someone who is “spiritually complete” and then the latter the Big Kahuna, teh Big Bad, the delcious, magnificent bastard of a villain. The Glengarry Glen Ross Gordon Gekko financial killer. The dominant leader of warriors. The fukking geniuses of this world.

    So I stopped chasing the latter, adn chased tthe former with a vegetarian diet, detox, friends with the elderly, cardio, daily meditation, dissolving of the ego and gratefulness.

    Guess what that led me to? Poor grades, and less of a desire to pursue pussy, and a pussy hippy outlook on life.

    Fluctuating back to extra calories with a testosterone diet (lots of red meat + yolks), some stimulants, embracing ego, accomplishment, hanging out with more ambitious guys, and doing squats like no tomorrow.

    An unquenachable thirst for greatness, but very low lows as well.

    I think i’ll reserve the spiritual attitude for vacations.

    Right now, Carpe Diem it up brotha. Make your fukking legacy.

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  • Istapp

    Not having desire at all is not the same thing as not having an attachment to desire. But I see the point you’re trying to make and it’s a valid one. You have a nice blog, I’ve been reading it for a few months now.

  • http://ancalgon.wordpress.com ancalgon

    Buddhism was a sort of rebellion against the clearly delineated class system and social distinctions of Hinduism (Siddhartha was originally a Hindu king). Not surprising that its teaching swing too far to the other side.

  • Kip

    Buddha was wrong !!!!!
    Although….
    He was right about the impermanence of existence and reality
    BUT
    we came here to experience life as a HUMAN BEING !!! And human beings are fucked up ! They love to fight, lie, fuck, seek glory, love, be fucked, explore, succeed and fail. Being human is all about experiencing the emotions and desires that humans experience. If you want detachment and freedom from desire…. then fuck off back to spiritual union within the oneness of the universe. (peace, love, etc).
    But…..if you’ve come here to incarnate amongst humanity…it’s GAME ON !!!
    So yeah, I totally agree with this post.
    I know I’m only here as a human for a short time, and it sure as hell wasn’t meant to be as a snivelling Beta !!!!

  • Graham

    King turned monk founds a religion that lasts 2.5 millenia to date, spreads across Asia, and gives meaning to a billion lives? Beta!

    The ‘alpha/beta’ sliding scale is fine for quick analysis of relatively normal people. But it’s too simplistic to apply to figures like the Buddha, or even much lesser figures — it’s like using your thumb to measure the size of a distant mountain.

    • http://dangerandplay.wordpress.com dangerandplay

      Jesus Christ, man, you need a fucking enema.

  • venueforgemedia

    “Rage feels good. Hate feels good. Contemplating the destruction of another person feels awesome.”

    So in other words a thing (such as destroying another) *is* good just because it *feels* good?

    Do you live by (rational) principle or by raw, random, emotions and whims?

    • http://dangerandplay.wordpress.com dangerandplay

      You’re about to check mate me with that sharp Socratic mind of yours!

  • http://two.cedonulli.com Jake

    “Buddha was a revolting beta male who quit life because he was too afraid to suffer, strive, and accomplish.”

    Clearly, by most of his teachings, the man was running away from life. Somebody made the argument that billions follow him. What about Jersey Shore? Large audience does not equal high quality of message.

    I’ll be at peace and disconnected from my desires soon enough – when I’m dead.

    In the interim, I advocate banging teenage pussy, as much as possible: http://two.cedonulli.com/2012/05/you-must-date-teenage-girls/