The Real Reason Men Travel Abroad

Current thinking goes as follows: Men travel abroad to meet women because they cannot meet women in the United States. Outside of fat, old white guys who go to Thailand to rape children, the view is wrong.

Theodore Roosevelt was the greatest alpha male in American history. Roosevelt like to fight, wrestle, exercise, and hunt. Yet as any American hunter knows, there isn’t any big game in the United States.

Thus, Roosevelt had to travel to Africa.

I live in the area with the greatest number of hot chicks per capita. I pull so many hot bitches that I carry them around in my pocket, like so many nickel and dimes.

Even here, in paradise, I’ve noticed a distressing trend.

Because of processed food and lack of exercise, younger girls lack the glow of femininity. When you smell a girls neck, you rarely get the whiff of female intoxicants. Just as men have lower testosterone, American women have fewer pheromones.

I’m scouting an international trip the same way Roosevelt planned an African safari.

Contrary to the claim that men travel out of desperation, I need to travel as my hunting skills exceed the caliber of available game.

  • Once Upon a Time…

    Welcome back. Good hunting

  • http://flyfreshandyoung.wordpress.com flyfreshandyoung

    We have the “biggest” game here. hardy har.

    Thinking East or West?

  • http://gravatar.com/samseau samseau

    “I live in the area with the greatest number of hot chicks per capita.”

    Is this NYC?

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  • Sgt.

    You live in Utah?