Online Dating Tips

I average 2-3 emails each week from cute girls. Some weeks I get no emails. Some days I get 2-3 notifications that either someone “chose me” (sing the Meet Me feature on Plenty of Fish, or the 4-or-5 star ranking system on OK Cupid.)

I get all of these messages, and yet I’m putting in no effort. It helps to become good looking.

Online dating is a passive investment. With a passive investment, you put a lot of effort up front. Then you allow the rewards to trickle in.

Consider a rental property. If you want to become a landlord, you’re going to borrow a lot of money, buy a property, build the property up, and hunt for tenants. It’s a lot of work.

Once you have the property, it’s very little work. You outsource your billing and management of the unit to a property management company. They collect the rent, deal with the tenants’ b.s., and send you a monthly check.

It takes about 10 years for a rental property to pay off. After that 10 years, though, it’s pure profit. Cash money.

Online dating shouldn’t be a decades’-long process, but the same principles that apply to passive investments apply. Here are the rules.

1. Don’t skimp on time. You should spend 10-20 hours on your online profile. If you are not receiving messages from girls, then you need to spend even more time. If your profile is legit, they will message you. If they are not messaging you, then your profile is not legit.

You should think through every question. You should brainstorm with other guys about the right headline and other lines to use. You should find the best photographs to upload. Your final profile should be the product of several weeks of thought and effort. If you do your profile right, and don’t get fat or otherwise have a major change in appearance, your hard work will be rewarded for the next 2-3 years.

Got that? Work hard now, for a few weeks, and you’re set for years.

2. Find the right photos. You need 3-5 good photos. Do not use more than 5 photos. Instead, make each photo count.

2(a). Your profile picture is the most important. Why? Because of the “meet me” feature. Girls will use this feature to find cute guys. But they only look at your profile picture. If you look cute, they are going to rate you as someone they’d like to meet.

Your profile picture should highlight your best features. My profile pic shows my upper torso (broad shoulders) and face.

2(b). You need a picture of yourself doing a cool activity. Travelling, to women, is crack. I’ve travelled a bit, rappelled in tropical rain forests, kayaked to volcanoes. I have some cool activity pics.

Even if you haven’t travelled, show a pic of yourself playing baseball, rock climbing, snow boarding. Something. If you have no cool pics, well, you’re a failure at the lifestyle game. Go do some cool shit before you worry about meeting women.

2(c). Pet pics. If you had – or ever had – a pet, include a pic. Even if it was your childhood pet, use it. Put something like, “My favorite cat growing up.” I have an awesome dog, so I included a pic of me with said awesome dog.

2(d). If you’re tall, include a full body shot (with something in the background, to allow a woman to judge you as being tall). If you have a full body shot of you walking your dog, well, player, you are doing pretty fucking awesome.

3. Find the right headlines. This will change based on the demographic you’re seeking. Although no chick is my intellectual peer, I can’t bang stupid chicks, since my big head tends to outthink my little head.

4. Be vague. There are about a thousand studies showing that we like a person more when we know less about the person. We fill in the details. Once we find out a guy is a liberal or likes the Red Sox or whatever, we want the person to die. Short answers are thus better than long ones.

5. Send out large batches of messages. Do this for about an hour, one day each week. Copy-and-paste a clever line. Most girls won’t answer. It doesn’t matter. It’s a numbers game.

6. Text messaging rules apply. Take twice as long to reply to a girl as the girl takes to reply to you.

7. Text message rules to break. Women are flooded with messages. If you don’t hear back from a girl after a couple of days, text her again, “Where’d you go?”

8. Get the digits, quick. Cute girls do not last long on online dating sites. If you want to understand this, create a profile using a cute girl’s pic. You’ll get hundreds of messages within a day, including cock shots.

9. Get the number by telling her that online dating is lame. “This online shit is weird. Get me your number, so I can text you.” If she says she wants to keep it online, she’s not serious, anyway.

10. Nerd out at the OK Cupid Blog. They have insane amounts of data. Just check out the site for yourself.

Read next: What Kind of Body do Women Want?

  • Gmac

    This post gets the Gmac stamp of approval.

  • Joe

    “Once we find out a guy is a liberal or likes the Red Sox or whatever, we want the person to die.”

    so true.

  • ASF


  • samseau

    you spend an hour each day messaging girls? God damn there has to be a faster way

    • Gmac

      “Do this for about an hour, one day each week.”

      This is the right strategy. It’s about the same for me too.

    • dangerandplay

      No, but even if I did, that’d be comparatively small to going out. If you go out on a Sat. night, that’s what, 4-6 hours?

      Put that time in online (if you’re decent looking and can write a nice profile), and you’ll only want to go out as a way to hang with friends.

      One hour a day is pointless, though, since there aren’t an hour’s worth of women worth messaging.

  • johnnymilfquest

    Solid post.

  • simonthemagician

    Question: On okcupid’s blog, it was suggested that high-income guys (or those reporting a high-income) were more likely to receive more messages. Would you recommend disclosing how much (or little) a man makes on the stats bar? Also, your post recommended a “less is more” approach. What fields would you recommend be filled out and which ones skipped over? I’m curious as to how this fits in your overall theme.