"You look scary," she told me as I lay next to her … [Read More...]
When a guy is starting off in any endeavor, he needs to find rules and role models. This is true whether you’ve just graduated medical school or recently started running game. You should blindly follow the rules for at least a couple of years. You should not take the “road less traveled,” because – odd are – that road is full of thorns and deer ticks.
While modelling yourself after others, if you’re not careful you lose your sense of self. You become some other guy rather than find out who you are.
You can never become advanced if you’re following some else’s style, because the advanced players will always be years ahead of you. Your life will consist of footnoting their work, like a mediocre college professor.
You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil. – Thus Spoke Zarathustra
I’ll give you a few examples.
My friend is a talented artist, and we’ve gotten into it before because he’s afraid to run the artist angle. Instead, he talks about his job – which is actually interesting, but is far less interesting than who he really is. My friend is afriad to embrace himself as an artist, and his game stagnates.
How do I know? Because when we are out, I open girls. Once he comes over, I say, “Here’s my artist friend.” The girl never believes us. I open my phone, show her pictures, and she is getting wet.
Then I hand her over to my friend. By now, the girl is all on his nuts. She’s close to him, cuddling as they look at his work on his iPhone. It’s a sure thing. If…
If my friend would talk about the creative process, inspiration, and making it as an artist, he would be banging 8’s on the regular.
Instead, my friend talks about his job. When I scream at him, he explains, “I’m afraid they’ll think I’m poor, so I want them to know about my real job.”
He is, in other words, afraid of himself. He can run some routines and spit some lines, but he is never going to take his game to the next level until he is honest with who he is. He’s not a corporate drone. He’s an artist. He needs to embrace it.
And it’s not the case that artist is necessarily superior to other things a man could be doing.
Another friend is a trial lawyer. He talks about his job, because it makes girls horny. Talking about art would be lame, and wouldn’t work. He gets tons of lays by embracing himself as who he is.
He also has a dark personality. His nickname is American Psycho. He doesn’t hide from it. He’s an asshole rather than a guy who puts on a nice face. A lot of girls are attracted to dark. It works.
Thus, at first when you are running game, you should not be yourself. Lots of guys before you have pulled ass. Just do what they do.
If you want to take your game to the next level, you need to find out who you are a person. Otherwise, you’ll be left running other guys’ routines. You’ll never hit what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls “flow.”
I’ll be discussing game and flow in a later post.