What is Lifestyle Game?

I’m not sure how others use the term “lifestyle game,” and I don’t really care. To me, lifestyle game means creating a life for yourself that you allow worthy girls into.

That is, you don’t pretend to be someone else in order to meet a girl. Instead, you have an actual sense of self, and a well-defined lifestyle, that you allow suitable women to share with you.

I’ll give you a recent example.

My friend was digging a chick. The only debate is whether she’s an 8.5 or 9. Whatever the case, this is the kind of girl other men obsess over.

This chick is now totally in love with my boy. She experienced the lifestyle, and now she doesn’t want to leave. In fact, she’s terrified of being removed from the lifestyle.

On Friday she came over for grilled rib eye, artichokes (steamed then grilled), steamed vegetables, and mochi. She drank complex wine. We went out to a cool club, had some bottles of vodka, and woke up. Then we had an elegant brunch. Afterwards we strolled through the city, attending a street fair. Later we stopped for espresso.

We did nothing out of the ordinary for this new girl.

Whether or not she came over, we’d have grilled thick cuts of prime steak. We’d have gone out to a cool club. We’d have had brunch, and we’d have done some sort of cool activity. Nothing changed for her.

Now, look at how the game changes. One, there’s no way to screw up your game, since you’re not running game. You are simply doing what you always do. Your girl is coming over? Cool, I’ll make an extra plate.

Second, you create a lifestyle so awesome that a woman doesn’t want to leave it. If you’re a man who hits the weight room, likes to go out once a week, and drinks fine wine and eats good food, you’re going to find a lot of women willing to audition.

Third, you always have the lifestyle. Whether or not a chick comes over on Friday, I’m grilling steak and asparagus. I’ll be opening a bottle of wine. When your lifestyle as a man is awesome, you often view women as an unwelcome intrusion. Do I even want to invite a girl over?

When you hold yourself to high standards, you become picky, which women immediately sense. Often when I go out, I think, “All of these women are boring. I don’t want to share my steaks and wine with them. Can I imagine them on the couch, talking to my roommate? They will bore him, and they may even steal some art work. I’m not going to even talk to them.” Suddenly women are asking me why I’m “not having a good time.” They sense my superiority complex, and are horny to find out what’s behind it.

Fourth, what do you suppose it does for the girl’s princess complex shes realizes that she is walking into your lifestyle?

We don’t roll out the red carpet for them. We roll it out for ourselves.

If she’s lucky, she gets to walk down it with us.

Once you create the best version of yourself, you’ll find yourself rejecting more women than ever.

Read next: The Apex of Lifestyle Game.

  • B.

    When I first read “On Friday she was fed grilled rib eye, artichokes…”, I was thinking to myself, “Uh oh, this isn’t lifestyle game, this is pedestal game”, but I kept reading and I’m glad I did.

    This article is a great reminder of one of the deep fundamentals: if she wants to join your world, you’re golden.

  • ASF

    But she had to be sufficiently attracted to your boy for there to be an opportunity for her to experience the lifestyle. I assume this did not happen by him just telling her about the great steaks you grill. The lifestyle idea is great of course.

    • http://dangerandplay.wordpress.com dangerandplay

      “What’d you do last night?”
      “We have a balcony that overlooks the city. We grilled some steaks, opened a couple of bottles of wine, then hit up our friend’s art exhibit.”

      Most unattractive guys have ugly personalities. Even if you’re not the greatest guy in the world, the above dialogue will have a woman finding you far more attractive than she currently views you.

  • Basil Ransom

    I get the lifestyle angle. But most of the time being a dude and pursuing your own hobbies won’t get you to meet many women. Typical guy hobbies are absolute sausage fests, and the girls there are not much to look at either.

    Young hot girls don’t get involved with anything. They work, they go out to eat, lay by the beach and go to bars and house parties. You have to intercept them, thus day game and night game. All the things that you see and think, man, it would be cool to meet a girl at something like this… and there are no young cute girls. By the time a cute girl is mature enough to try and develop herself, she’s old, fat or taken. Unless I’m missing something, the lifestyle approach is weak for meeting girls.

    If you’re extremely lucky, you’re in a setting where you will have women fawning over you. Like teaching a college class, or working in fashion. For most guys, that isn’t the case.

    No one talks about this one factor, of opportunity, but if your other qualities are decent, IMO, it matters more than anything else. Take the same guy. Imagine him working as a civil engineer, and as a fashion buyer. Who slays more and better tail? Imagine the engineer makes twice as much. Who (still) slays more and better tail? Guys settle for what they get, and the fashion guy has a whole lot more to draw from.

    Oh, and the hottest girl I’ve talked to all year works in fashion. I’m into fashion but I don’t work in it, and would love to figure out how to meet girls in it. I’m also thinking of getting into wine snobbery.

    I’m hoping to amp up my day game at a nearby college.

    • http://www.facebook.com/wesley.dabney Wesley Dabney

      i don’t think you understand. a great lifestyle is the ultimate game. girls are always looking to upgrade their position in life (hypergamy) so they are on the look out for guys that have the lifestyle. so lifestyle game isn’t about finding women.. it’s about them finding you. it works. it’s the only game i use.

  • dc1000

    Clearly what the author is discussion is not how to meet and pick up women. It is how to keep them around once you’ve met them.

    It also does add to one’s ability to pick them up in the sense that you just talk about your awesome life and they want in. Inner game stuff.

    This post echoes the main points of making yourself your mission and not your girl.

    • http://dangerandplay.wordpress.com dangerandplay

      I’ve noticed that far too many guys read posts and try finding weaknesses and holes in the posts. Weird.

      Incidentally, I enjoy wine tastings. Not a typical guy hobby. Why not? Because marketers have convinced guys that “real men” drink beer. Thus, guys go on and on about microbrews and IPA’s and shit – with a bunch of other sausages. I’d rather drink wine with the pussy.

    • Basil Ransom

      I’m not criticizing to be critical. I’m saying, I admire the approach, I’d like to make it work for me. But how do you meet women with it? Yeah, the post isn’t totally about meeting women, but people are always going to focus on some part of the overall piece.

      And the author did write: “If you’re a man who is in shape, likes to go out once a week, and drinks wine and eats good food, you’re going to find a lot of women willing to audition.”

      I haven’t had trouble keeping women, but meeting women I like while doing something I enjoy is harder to come by. Generally, the times I’ve looked into meeting girls by doing something I like, the quantity, quality and ratio has proved wanting.

      I’d like to hear how it’s done. I’ve got time on my hands anyway to cultivate a cool hobby or two, and it might as well be one that lets me meet women.

      Certain casual acquaintances come to mind, and they’ve got a good lifestyle going, but their women are nothing to shout about.

      You can make yourself your mission, but it won’t matter if no one’s watching.

      • http://dangerandplay.wordpress.com dangerandplay

        If you are a cool and interesting guy, women will want to be part of your world – and they’ll want included in your hobbies. I don’t expect to meet women at the MMA gym or firing range. Yet I nevertheless run into mad amounts of women every day. Wine tastings, museums, parks, the gym, yoga, hiking traills, rock climbing walls.

      • http://xsplat.wordpress.com/ xsplat

        How old are the women who go to wine tastings and museums? Do they go in groups of girls?

        Have you had success approaching at the gym? I haven’t heard good reports about meeting in the gym.

        Have you ever had a successful meetup from a yoga class? On first thought it would seem a an obvious place for random meetups to happen, but then I remember that from the many various continuing ed classes I’ve taken, I’ve only found one girl in them attractive enough to (successfully) hit on.

        I do see your point that lifestyle is an attractive trait. But I also hear the point that being attractive is only part of problem. For many men it’s how to meet.

        I do well after I meet. I don’t do well getting meets.

        I’d like to hear more specifically of where all these girls are met.

  • Rob

    “may even steal some art work.” priceless

  • dc1000

    xsplat: yoga has got to be the best/easiest place to run into attractive girls of all the day game options available.

    when i was first divorced I went to yoga nearly every day and damned if i wasnt the only straight guy in a room full of 30 taught, young, nubile women every single day.

    wholefoods is another great place. lucky for me, my yoga studio, wholefoods and my apartment are all on the same block.

    and PS: if you are good once you get past the meet, then you should try online. that way the date is already set up and her mood is – ‘lets see if i want to fuck this guy.’ if you could build comfort and rapport easily, than online seems to be the way to go.

    • http://xsplat.wordpress.com/ xsplat

      Yes, usually online is how I operate. I’m in SE Asia and have been for about 15 years. A guy can meet attractive women online here – and you can choose for whatever suits you, from vixen to virgin.

      But even here it can take a few months of work to get your handful of best choices to pick from. I’d love to have a real day game. I don’t have that skill set, and can see how it would be valuable. I can fall in love 5 times a day without a single kiss.

      Interesting to know about yoga.

      Whole foods? See? You’ve got some day game. You approach. That’s what I want.

      • dc1000

        I see online as like an investment pipeline. you have to put in that initial work to get the pipeline rolling, but once you do you should/could always have a number of girls in each phase. eventually you could have one or two at all times (or more) that are: breaking up with, fuck buddies/dating, initially seducing, or having initial online contact.

        you gotta keep up with each phase in order to have the steady supply. and then that breeds the ‘i don’t give a fuck attitude’ that most woman respond well to for at least 6-12 months.

        my day game approaches are without a doubt the worst part of my game. they usually involve something like, ‘hi’ as an opener.

  • samseau

    Online game probably compliments good lifestyle game the best. If you look good on paper, online game will work wonders.

    And if your lifestyle includes an activity women are interested in, then you’ll be able to meet more of them.

  • dickbutt

    i am still waiting for your moisturizer post

  • http://www.fredtracy.com Fred Tracy

    Haha, I liked the point about “Do I really want to invite over a girl?”

    That says it all.

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