The Five Stages of Game Consciousness

I don’t read many websites about picking up women, as they are at the lower levels of consciousness. I don’t say this as a way to hate, as being at a lower level is necessary if one is to reach higher levels. I was once at a lower level, too.

How is this lower level manifested? It’s manifested in the anger stages under the Kübler-Ross/The Five Stages of Grief model.

The Kübler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief, is a series of emotional stages experienced when faced with impending death or death of someone. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Denial is where 90% of American men are. These are the beta males who deny the truth about women. When they are rejected and abused by American women, the beta makes excuses. “She only behaved that way because of …”

Men living in denial use terms like “douchebag” and “dudebro” to refer to men who are successful with women. The man living in denial simply has no concept of what women want.

Anger is where 90% of PUAs and others who write about women are. The angry tone is evident in the writing.

Once guys leave the denial phase, they are outraged at the abuse women expect these men to take and that the levels of entitlement possessed by the most mediocre of women.

These men are obsessed with unfairness and double standards. Instead of coolly exploiting the system, they vent and rage.

Bargaining is a level of consciousness few men reach, and yet it’s only a middle-tier level of awareness. The “bargaining man” agrees that women are problematic, but claims the modern American woman will change if he only runs strong relationship game. “My game is tight, so my girl won’t pull the stunts she pulls on other guys.” He is always making deals with women rather than showing them the door.

Depression hits when a man realizes that everything he learned about women was a lie. Maybe he finds out she is searching for ex-boyfriends on Facebook.

Once you understand women, it becomes harder to deal with them. Parents avoid petulant children, and a high-level man starts avoiding the women-children that comprise the vast majority American females.  The “depressed man” asks: Why bother?

Acceptance is where a man accepts women as they are, but on his own terms. The “accepting man” knows American women are incorrigible, while also realizing he himself enjoys sex and occasional female companionship. He gets what he wants, but does not believe he will change the fundamental nature of broken woman. He lives a life of freedom.

Stop being negative and start being alpha.

  • M.A.W. Blogger

    Transcendent explanation.

  • samseau

    Man, I love this blog.


    Being honest with myself, I have recently vacillated between the various levels of anger and acceptance. Not so much anger about things anymore, but finding difficulty in grabbing the joy from what is sometimes a sense of resignation (due to life choices already made). I’ll get over myself though, because I know the one stage I am never going back to is denial.

  • xsplat

    Depression is defeated through learning a new way to deal with women. After you see them as they are, you learn new skill sets to deal with that new entity of woman. The new skill sets lead to new types of relationships, which can be satisfying. Then you have acceptance.

  • dc1000

    This is such an excellent post and I think really reflects forward (or contemporary for some) thinking in the game community. I always wondered what was the end game? what would happen to me and my relationship with women once this process took hold.

    i think i’ve had a rapid acceleration through the phases. my depression phase was manifested in some serious misogyny, pumps and dumps and just outright being a dick to many women at once.

    the acceptance phase has kicked in where when shit-tests come, i’m ready to let her walk.

    i’m not solidly in this phase because every so often i find myself wondering if i should just cave here and there but i don’t.

    each time my girl starts acting up, i let her know she can leave at anytime, or better yet, hit the road now please – and then she bounces back even better than the last time.

    she says to me ‘i know you hate women’ – she’s just the lucky one that gets to share my time with me.

    i think this post of yours deserves further thought and reflection. i hope there are follow ups.

  • JackBlack

    Haha this is brilliant … I think I’m coming out of the depression stage right now …

  • Fred Tracy

    FREEDOM! Nice inclusion of the five stages of grief here, too.

  • Badger

    Nice…I did a five-stages thing like this, and not two days later Ferd posted a guest post that did the same thing (I think I put the guy on my blogroll).

    I like how you relate the stages to where various pockets of men are in life.

    Incidentally, after another flakejob I’m back in the anger phase.

    • dangerandplay

      Funny post. I vaguely remember a similar post – perhaps on In Mala Fide – stating that game ultimately leads to disillusionment. Theme is the same: Learning game forever alters your view of women.

      • anon1

        just as apt 3 years ago as it is now

  • Arron

    I realise you slip in and out of different areas.

    For instance, my ex is meeting up with my old best friend. which makes me fucking angry and want to break shit. She also trying to play me (fuck that)

    But with other women i have come to that acceptance that they are the way they are, i have fun and do my thing.

    And i treat them like that.

    I guess we will see what happens the next times my emotions become involved.