On-Time Departure

“Do you want to go to a pool party,” I asked her. “Where is it,” she asked.

Forget it. We’re not going.”
“No, wait, I want to go!”
“Nah, fuck it.

I didn’t go to the pool party, choosing instead to hit the gym, run errands, and work. She pouted all day at my apartment. I ignored her.

Later I asked her if she wanted to make a Costco run with me. She was thrilled. “Let’s make a list,” she exclaimed.

Now some of you may be wondering if I’m passive-aggressive, or that I am insane. Yet let’s examine the dynamics of it.

The first premise of my game: She is lucky to be with me. My company, in and of itself, is all that matters.

Don’t sell your plan to her.

I like thinking in metaphors, and view my relationship with women as an airplane at the terminal. The plane is scheduled to leave, and it’s going somewhere cool.

Either get on board with the plan, or don’t. Whether you get on the plane or not, the plane will still leave the terminal. As a man, you should not give women options.

Women keep their power by being choosy. How often have you asked a woman out on a date only to have her ask you dozens of questions.

She is asking these questions to keep her power. By questioning you, she is unconsciously thinking, “He had better impress me with the details, or I’ll tell him I’m not interested.”

I do not give women this power over me. She gets to see me on my terms, or she doesn’t.

If I had told my girl the pool party was at a hotel, would her answer have been different than if I had told her it was at a friend’s house?

Her questions pissed me off, and she knew it. Later she said, “I just want to be with you. It doesn’t matter where we go!” That is an answer more acceptable, and I rewarded her good behavior with my affection.

I am not an unreasonable man, and recognize there are logistics-related reasons to ask where a date is going to occur. Those questions must follow the affirmative answer.

Here is how the conversation should have gone – and, indeed, will go in the future, now that she knows what’s up:

Want to go to a pool party?”
“Yes, sounds great!”
“Cool. It’s at my friend’s apartment complex. We should head out around 3.

Always let your girl know that you are running shit. She doesn’t get to decide what you’re doing.

She either answers yes, or no. She either gets to join you, or not.

Because whatever she says, you’ll still be doing what you’re going to do.

  • http://romeomaldini.wordpress.com romeo maldini

    excellent. perfectly said.

  • Pingback: Do You Tell Your Girl About Game? | Danger & Play

  • Jules

    I wonder why there are so few comments, possibly too many feminine-masculines getting erased?
    I’ll write about an interesting developement in my relationship with my wife. When I met her, I was a stallion, buffed up, arrogantly handsome and people danced around me wanting to be a part of my dangerous aura. This “persona” I built up over 3 years of hard work, after being an absolute loser and recognizing that I had the stuff but was wasting it on being a pussy, being afraid of interaction with others, eating too much and accepting the bull others gave me, was the persona that attracted my wife in the first place.
    During a period of about half an year, I showed her true interest in things she liked and enjoyed, but always had my own standing on matters, doing what I wanted and making her follow. She was nuts about me (in Germany, we don’t have a lot of masculine guys and those who think they are, are just gym-heads who walk around aggressively looking for the next fight with “everone”).
    After 5 years of being together, 3 years of marriage included, the stallion has become a valuable work-horse. I do everything to ensure my family’s happiness and I’m not afraid to help out around the house and of course everything else that has to do with changing diapers, etc.
    There is, however, one dilemma, my wife also reflected upon it and told me so a few weeks ago.
    I’m not the same guy I used to be, that attracted her on a primitive level. Life’s made me useful and made me eventually lose the “edge” I so hardly worked for. So what now? I know what needs to be done, this primal guy is there deep inside…do I let him out and start decreasing the more lovable guy? Do I try to find a double-sided character-trait that includes both?
    My life’s motto has always been: If you’re not sure, do it anyway – you can only fail. Failure is a life’s lesson waiting, as long as you don’t repeat the same mistakes again.
    So it’s experiment-time. I started going to the gym every second day again, no excuses…if I don’t have time, I just go around 11 pm and almost fall asleep pumping iron. Sleep is overrated. I sleep better now. Now the real tricky part is, how do I change the interaction between my wife and I and become the guy I used to be without alienating my wife and making her notice that somethings up. A work in progress…but DAP helped motivate me even more to get up and change!