Become the Man to See

I had finished a long workweek when one of my girls called me, begging me to come out. “I’m tired,” I told her, and had in any event just taken some sleeping pills.

“I’m going to bed.”
“No, please come out.”
“Why?”
“I want to be seen with you.”

Women increase their status with other women by presenting a high-value man. She really wanted me to come out, because it would have impressed the girls she was with. It would have made her seem more valuable, because she was with me.

My life mindset is to be the man I want to be. My game mindset is to be the kind of man women want to be seen with.

When you leave the house, you should be asking yourself: Right now, do I look like the kind of man an attractive woman would want to be seen with? If you look slovenly, with a bad haircut and Old Navy jeans, why would you expect a woman to be receptive to your approach?

Women talk non-stop about relationships, and every woman wants to be able to “brag on” her man. If you are the kind of man a woman wants to talk to her friends about, then you will have more women than you can handle.

Guys need to realize that women do not live in the same world as we do. As a man, I don’t care if my friends or complete strangers on the street find my girls attractive. I care if my girl makes me hard, will fuck whenever I want, and will please me in the bedroom.

Although most guys are not as extreme as I am – that is, guys want “arm candy” to some extent – we are much less worried about what our friends think of the women we date. Think about it.

How many times have you railed a chick of low-quality, knowing your friends would ridicule you the next morning? Did thinking, “My friends are going to mess with me,” actually stop you from getting the bang? Of course not. You went for it anyway, and then took your lumps like a ‘G.

Women have an entirely different mindset. To a woman, what her friends will think is more important than what she thinks. One might even say that women are incapable of thinking for themselves, but instead are part of a hive mind.

If you look like a slob with a bad haircut who is wearing Old Navy clothing, why would a woman want to be seen with you? If you are a do-nothing, boring guy with no life story, why would you be someone she’d want to talk about.

Far more important than new pick-up openers or routines is looking like a man women want to be seen with.

Gaining 10 pounds of muscle, losing fat, and finding your look will do far more to improve your game than the latest “social dynamics” DVD’s.

If you want to meet women, first become a man worth meeting.

Read next: Hit the Weight Room.

  • samseau

    This is true for most women, but I know as women grow older many of them become unconcerned with the opinions of their friends.

    But, as far as fucking young, tight, and hot young girls go, this is 100% truth. It’s part of being an alpha. If one girl likes you, it’s because MANY girls like you. You can’t get one unless you can get 10 others. The fundamental law of Game: There is a direct relationship between Quality and Quantity.

  • Lucifer

    Great post. I have to go clean shaven to meetings but keep a 2 day goatee for the weekend nightlife – seems to work well and is now “my look”… Sometimes if I see a girl mid week and I haven’t been to a meeting that week I have the full beard look, which some girls love but on the whole the halfway house works best for me.

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  • spike

    I’ve done all of that and it still is a hassle getting ass. I always read people saying it comes to them and all of that. I gotta work it with Game pretty aggressively still. I have found my look. I m handsome and jacked. I think perhaps there are just too many guys fighting over the same nickel.

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  • Mark

    I’ve been reading D & P since the beginning but have long since forgotten that this site started as a pick up blog.

    It’s too bad you don’t write about women anymore, Mike. You had a great perspective that a lot of guys could learn from. I was reading through the old archives and it seems like you had the right balance of male self improvement/criticism of american women.

    • Danger & Play Blog

      Thanks. I stopped the women stuff because it attracted too many negative men. Disqus makes it easier to ban people, so I’ve been dusting off the old game posts.